Got it Done!

I am happy to say that I got it done... I was 1 mile short, but I can deal with that. Two days ago I wasn't motivated to make it happen. I was ready to blow it off, and rationalize it down to not being that big of deal. However, it was a big deal in terms of making a statement to myself. So, I am happy to report that I am still on track...

Happy New Years to all!!! I hope you are all safe and having a great time. Here is to quality running (and lots of other stuff) in 2006.

Today: 4 miles
Week: 20 miles

Half Way There...

Alright... I am half way there. I got 6 miles in today. My longest run in almost 4 years, and over half of what I need to get to my goal for the week. It was a cold and rainy run, but nice to do a run that I have done a million times.

Today: 6 miles
Week: 16 miles

It Has Arrived...

I knew there would come a point in this journey where I was going to have to decide whether to "get it done" or "blow it off"... That point has come. Up until now the mileage goals were low enough that I could run when it was convenient and still hit the goal. This week there is no convenient time to run, so I have to make it happen. I want this to remain fun, so if I don't hit my goals it wouldn't be the end of the world... However, part of the bigger picture is to reintroduce discipline, and give myself a working model of accomplishment to allow the rest of my life to follow. Meaning, if I am going to ever get anything done in this life, I need to start creating some follow through.

So here it is... This is Week 5, meaning I need to get 21 miles in this week. I got 3 in yesterday (one of my faster runs), that puts me at 10 for the week. I don't like the idea of putting in 11 miles in 2 days (one of my goals is to keep the progression as smooth as possible, and that is a bit of a jump). However, I know it is very doable and just requires me to buck up and get it done... Thus, the fork in my running trail... We'll see what happens...

Today: 0 (so far)
Week: 10 miles

P.S. I am in Vancouver (WA) so if anyone around these parts wants to go for a run, let me know. My phone is in two pieces (not that I answer it much anyway, but now it is impossible... I am checking messages though).

Running in the Park

Today was a really nice run in Golden Gate Park. It was cool and misty, and lots of people out (this added a nice energy). Can't add much more than that, must hit the hay for an early wake up!

Today: 4 miles
Week: 7 miles

Run

Quick and dirty 3 miles.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles
W

Merry Christmas

Just a quick note to say Merry Christmas to all of you... I hope that your holiday season is treating you well (whatever you might be doing). It will be a pleasant day of family and food on my end. I wish you all well!!!

Against the Odds...

Against the Odds...,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

Let me set the scene... we more or less started the day at Tadich Grill. This was a meal that started with bloody marys and didn't look back. There was a table full of awesome seafood, and we all left happy. We were not exactly in a proper state to run. However, with the determination and dedication of true distance runners (ok, I had to try) we put on our shoes (beetle braved running in his Nike Frees- I am to blame if he ends up with a stress fracture) and got out the door. I am happy to report that the 3 miles went well, and my rest week came to a close.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 10 miles
HRM: 153 avg/ 164 max

First Organized Run

Last week when Chris was here he pointed me towards a "trail race" over on Angel Island (8k) on Jan. 14th... I am happy to say that I am now signed up for my first "organized run" (can't quite call it a race yet). It should be about perfect for a first run. The runs are set up not to be real competitive, with an emphasis on enjoying a good run on trails with other people. I also saw that there is another one later in the year. So it will be good to run it now, and then see how it compares later (when I am hopefully in shape).

I realize this race isn't very far away, but all are invited (and for those far away you always have a place to stay). I will get on the ball and give a little more notice for the next "organized run". Hopefully we can get some people together every once in a while for a run. Whether you are far or near, I will post it (I am open to suggestion too) and whoever shows up, shows up.

Let the Holidays Begin

Ok, the holidays are in full swing already I suppose, but now that my family has arrived it actually feels like the holidays. The weather on the other hand... well, I over heated wearing shorts and a dri-fit shirt. It rained a ton today, but it was warm, no wind... perfect running! I felt pretty darn good. That energy you feel after some rest was in my legs today. I certainly still don't have anything in the tank to back up that feeling, but I could feel it (and that means things are working). All in all it was a good run.

Just to note for my own documentation, I could feel the outside of my left knee talking to me. My guess would be a tight IT band (been doing lots of driving the past two days... also not stretching the way I need to). Something to watch.

Today: 4 miles +
Week: 7 miles +
HRM: 153 avg/ 168 max
W (weights)

A Run is a Run...

Sometimes a run is just a run... I got my 3 miles in this morning, and that was that. Nothing special. I think that is a good thing... the fact that getting out the door for a run is becoming sort of normal again. Perhaps I am doing it!

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Rest Week

I am starting my "Rest Week" out with a rest day... Instead of a run, a little reflection. I have 3 weeks of my plan under my belt, and feel pretty good about where I am at. I didn't quite reach my goal the 2nd week, but was close enough to consider the first 3 weeks to be right on schedule. Thus starts week 4. As I said, this is a "rest week"... the rest is to allow my muscles that I have been breaking down the past few weeks, to rebuild (better than ever). It is kind of like letting your fitness catch up to you. Also, in case there are any injuries brewing... the idea is to let your body get a foot hold before going back to work. It should work out nicely with the holiday craziness that will be in full swing this week to use my few runs as stress breaks.

Running with Company

Finished off my week right on target... that felt good. Chris and Joanna are in town so it was nice to have someone to run with (it goes by so much quicker). My DSL is down so it will be a short post. That will give you time to sift through the novel I wrote yesterday ;-)

Today: 4 miles
Week: 18 miles (Right On!)

A Little Shaky: Part 3

I have learned over the past week or so that I am buried in my own pain. My fathers death was so long on the horizon that I was able to bury many years of pain associated with that. In fact, the last few years (when it was most in my face) I began to just shut out much of the world, because emotionally I could not take in any more (good or bad). When the day finally came (and he was gone)... there was very little pain. I saw it as a freeing of everyone involved. However, there was pain, but instead of it coming from outside, it was packed deep inside. Packed tight and tension filled. That tension has tightened my entire body, I think my jaw has been clinched for over 2 years now (I have to constantly remind myself to relax it), my shoulders carry it, my stomach... it has consumed my body. There were small releases, tiny quakes if you will... just waiting for "the big one" where it could all come spilling out, the pain of so many years rumbling to the surface. I am not sure if that has happened, but enough so that I am once again disoriented by my own demons. I am not exactly sure why I am sharing this, but I feel like it has to get out some how. You all have been so helpful in getting me back on the running horse, and so I will continue to have faith in the power of community. This eruption of pain has knocked me down a bit. I felt like I was doing so good, the running, trying to be better to myself... However, that has become really hard. I'm trying my best to remain aware and present to my pain... to work with it, understand it, but is so hard to break the habits of just wanting to bury it. As I said earlier, we often dream of the end result (the plaque, the title/job, the happy-ever-after), but rarely do we sit and dream about the every day little things that will get us there. When my dad was gone I dreamed of a healthy, free existence with that major life event behind me. I had the world at my fingertips... anything I wanted to do was possible. I didn't dream about the steps I needed to take to get to healthy and free. I tried to skip that part... the "journey" part... the important part.

And then, just when I think I am doing it all wrong, and so far off... I sit, breath, and think about the fact that I ran 5 miles today. The longest training run I have done in 3 years. Part of our journey is choosing to recognize it while it is going on. That is when we can make choices to change it, enjoy it, be present to it. So, yes, life hurts right now, but that is where my journey is... I am still moving forward. I choose to concentrate on that today.

Today: 5 miles (longest run in 3 years)
Week: 14 miles

A Little Shaky: Part 2

One example of my journey being more valuable than the end result is my Senior year of cross-country at Graceland. During my Junior year I came to the end of my running rope while on holiday break. I simply couldn't train... physically, mentally, I was spent. So I decided to red-shirt my track seasons, rest and then train for my last XC season. During this time I took a few months off completely. Concentrating on re-charging and mentally preparing for my most ambitious training plan to that point in my running career. My goal was to be an All-American at the national meet. It began around March, much the same way as my current plan, and took me up to a point of running 90+ miles a week for most of the summer (about 9 consecutive weeks). It started slowly, feeling like the low mileage at the beginning was too easy... but it was part of a plan... a journey. Each step built on the last one, and all of a sudden I was in the best shape of my life. I was doing it. There were different struggles and adjustments that I had to make along the way, always leading to more knowledge about my running and myself. It took a great deal of commitment, discipline, and sacrifice to make it happen. However, towards the end of the summer I felt machine like, and I loved it! I finally was running to the potential that I knew was inside me. What an amazing feeling... to be doing something at your full potential. To lay out a plan and then execute that plan almost to the mile... felt great.

Then a hill workout, after a cross-country drive, and a little lacks on some of those details that I paid so much attention to... added up to a pull in my hamstring. Urgh! Two weeks before the season was supposed to start and all of a sudden I was limping around unable to get any of the strength out of my legs that I put so much effort into building up. Needless to say it was a rough season of ups and downs, trying to be patient, and ultimately being hugely frustrated by the fact that I couldn't use all that was stored up inside.

Was the "potential" what I did over the summer, or the getting that All-American plaque? Perhaps a bit of both. The point is that even though I could not use the training that I had put in over the summer to attain my goal... I ended up seeing that I learned so much along the way, and enjoyed the journey enough (just knowing that I was training at my potential) that the end goal became less important. Don't get me wrong... I would love to have that plaque, but I know in my heart that if a few things would have gone a different way... I could have done it. No one can ever take that away from me. I have called on that experience many times since then. When I think about what I am capable of, and what I need to do to get there... I often look to that journey. As now when I don't feel like I can dig myself out of the hole I am in... rest, make a plan, then execute that plan.

A Little Shaky: Part 1

After an early trip to the airport (yes, I do this often), breakfast, then going back to sleep... I was shaken out of bed by an earthquake. Well, it didn't exactly get me out of bed, but it was an interesting way to re-start my day.

Today I have been thinking about how they always tell you, "It is about the journey, and not the destination." And looking back over my life, for the most part I would agree... then why is it always so damn hard to remember. It is one of those concepts I have to continually remind myself about. It is so much easier to just sit around and dream about the end result, or focus so hard on getting there that you forget to enjoy the process (the small details). Almost all of my thought process has been about, "when my life starts up again, when I feel better, when my pain dissipates"... very little energy has gone into daily steps to make that happen. I have a plan to get back in shape, where is my "Life Plan"? Not from the stand point of, "Where will my life end up?", but instead, "If I were going to shoot for something in my life, how would I do that, and what might I find along the way?" All my life I have been full of big ideas... and very little follow through. Where will I find the follow through to put my life back into a place where I am at peace with both the journey and the destination I am headed to (even if I never get there)? Guess that is why this post has 3 parts...

Back in Vallejo

An easy 3 around Vallejo today. Nothing exciting. It is nice to be home after all the traveling... except all that cleaning I have to do around the house before the holidays.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 9 miles

Yeeehaw!

The title was my reaction to getting my run in yesterday... I was a bit skeptical of it happening. Especially after having a 1/2 pound cheeseburger... fries and a pint for lunch. It was such a beautiful day, and there really was no excuse for not getting it done. However, that has been the fight for the past 3 years. It was getting dark and I just happened to spot a trail off the road. So, I pulled into the parking lot (this was at the mall of all places in Blue Springs), did the quick change (I am a little rusty at the old "change in the car" routine). Then off I went with the last gasps of sun in the west and a healthy moon over head. It was getting colder, but still felt good (and I was in shorts). The air crisp and cool in the lungs, not harsh at all... and to my delight the trail turned out to be crushed limestone (my favorite), meandering through the trees and next to a small (mostly frozen) stream. I was energized by the simple fact that I was out at all, but also felt the energy of many past runs filling me up. I thought about the comments posted during the day (that was the kick in the butt that helped it happen), and what a cool thing it was to have community. So, thank you for your help yesterday, and the trickle over into this morning (yup, already got my run in today). I will be traveling the rest of the day... ugh! But it will be nice knowing I am right on schedule for the week.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 6 miles

On the Go

I am remembering how hard it was to get my runs in when I was traveling. I intentionally took yesterday off, rest my legs (they felt a little beat after running on the slippery slush) and my blogger brain. Today, is a beautiful day in Lamoni, but I am heading down to Kansas City and the timing just won't work for a run before I go... then who knows how the timing will play out once I get down there. I realize that is where discipline comes in, but it sure has been a long time since I was disciplined about anything. Once again a chance to change my world habits by working on my running habits. We'll see how I do today.

Grey, Cold, Brown

Sounds nice huh? This mornings run was most certainly all of those things. The first mile up-hill into the wind... just about killed me off. That damn wind! I was never a fan of that wind, and that hasn't changed. However, once I turned the corner and got the wind at my back, things were much better. The colors did make me think about how the hills in the bay area are beginning to turn green. They are at that "fuzzy" green stage... where the new grass is just breaking through. From far away you can't quite focus on it, but you can tell that the change is coming. I do enjoy that energy.

Today was a good test of pushing through. I am not a big morning run person, and I could have been just as happy staying in bed. However, I knew the run needed to happen to keep this rolling... so I did it. It hurt, it was ugly, but I did it. I can feel good about that.

Tonight I will be playing a concert with Chad Elliott at Cheville Chapel on the Graceland University campus (@ 7pm). "Musician" is one of my paying jobs right now (meaning I pay to do it). I am still new to the whole thing... lots of learning to do. Looking forward to a relaxing evening of music though.

Today: 4 miles
Week: 14 miles (a shade under goal)
HRM: To cold to care...

Burrrrr!

I love travel days... one of these days I will be on top of things and travel days will be a breeze... until then, sarcasm. I am now in good old Lamoni , NOT warm. Of course I knew that it would be cold, but you sort of forget HOW cold it really is. I had delusions of doing a brisk, winter night run after arriving tonight, but that was a silly idea. If I ran tonight it would be hazardous to my health... once upon a time I would have been out there (if needed). Tonight my California lungs would freeze up and shatter. So, tomorrows run will be a little longer than I would want, but it should be ok.

Lamoni is actually a good place to be as I make this comeback. This land is filled with both running and life stories around every corner. It is those stories that feed my desire to comeback at all... with my fitness and my life. Not all the memories are good, but each one helped put me where I am right now: Sitting in a coffee house in Iowa, with the touch of my hand all around me (I helped start this coffee house a few years back). Preparing to play a concert tomorrow. It all seems a bit strange.

I am not sure what I hope for while running on the gravel roads with those ghosts, but for the next few days they will be my running companions. I will think about different great runs, runners, and friends that I have known here. Perhaps we will stumble upon a new direction. Maybe that is the hope. That the power in old memories is to allow us to take new steps forward...