Yes... I have been rather bad about posting... mostly cause NO running is getting done... I was so busy with the Barista competition, and now I am sort of dragging along in recovery mode. I was not able to pull off one of those spectacular "out of no where" victories, but I was able to learn a lot and have fun doing it. It was hard to not be on top of my game while in the spot light... however, I knew that was simply my ego, and when I looked at the bigger picture... it was a victory just putting myself out there. I knew that I couldn't forever live my life "trying not to screw up", but I had got my self so ingrained in that way of thinking... I really had to force my self to get out there. I knew I would learn a ton by taking my lumps, but it was like my whole body didn't trust that knowledge. I hope this experience helped further open the door to living a more open life. A life where fear is simply another input, not a controlling factor. You can go over to the Shaky Tree blog and find out a bit more about the competition.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Training
Well, I have been training... but haven't got a run in for some time. I have been coffee training... Next week I will be competing in the Midwest Regional Barista Competition in Kansas City. It has been awhile since I have been in this position. I mean I have done a couple of organized runs (not really races) in the past year, but nothing like a real competition. Nothing where I put myself out there. I always said that if I jumped in one of these Barista competitions, that I would do so when I was ready to win... being that I have really only had about 3 weeks to prepare for this... my expectations are a little different. However, I will still go into it wanting to win.
When I decided I was going to do this competition (right before leaving the midwest for the holiday), I had this rush of excitement... like I used to when I would dream about a conference meet or something. It was strange how almost foreign that feeling had become (as is the nervous butterflies in my stomach now ;-) The past 4 years or so I became so closed off that there was no room for that type of emotion. I wasn't able to really care about anything all that much. Not to say that winning a Barista competition is of the utmost importance now, but I am willing to say I want to win... and it will be a very public statement. Micah is Alive ;-) It will draw a good bit of attention to Shaky Tree, and really be the kick off to a year of putting myself out there. This is both exciting... and terrifying. There is still the part of me that has been buried for years that is sensitive to being "out there", and wants very badly to go right back into the cave. Each day it seems I can feel more and more input coming in... some I recognize, some I have no idea what to do with. The grey area between wading through deep grief, and being a functional liver (and lover) of life is a bit more pronounced than I anticipated. I guess I always thought there would be grief and sadness, and then bam... something else. I feel like this competition is a big step towards the tipping point. That is an exciting prospect. One of the next steps will be that darn marathon I have been talking about. One step at a time... with lots of breathing in between.
When I decided I was going to do this competition (right before leaving the midwest for the holiday), I had this rush of excitement... like I used to when I would dream about a conference meet or something. It was strange how almost foreign that feeling had become (as is the nervous butterflies in my stomach now ;-) The past 4 years or so I became so closed off that there was no room for that type of emotion. I wasn't able to really care about anything all that much. Not to say that winning a Barista competition is of the utmost importance now, but I am willing to say I want to win... and it will be a very public statement. Micah is Alive ;-) It will draw a good bit of attention to Shaky Tree, and really be the kick off to a year of putting myself out there. This is both exciting... and terrifying. There is still the part of me that has been buried for years that is sensitive to being "out there", and wants very badly to go right back into the cave. Each day it seems I can feel more and more input coming in... some I recognize, some I have no idea what to do with. The grey area between wading through deep grief, and being a functional liver (and lover) of life is a bit more pronounced than I anticipated. I guess I always thought there would be grief and sadness, and then bam... something else. I feel like this competition is a big step towards the tipping point. That is an exciting prospect. One of the next steps will be that darn marathon I have been talking about. One step at a time... with lots of breathing in between.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy New Year!!!
Being the first day of the new year I figured I better start things off with a run... oh, and I haven't run for... well, a long time. I had these grand plans of getting plenty of sunny CA runs in while home... not so much. Soon it will be off to the frozen midwest (which I am sure will motivate me to run), and we'll see what happens on the training front.
Anyway, I hope everyone had a fun (and safe) NYE... and has a beautiful start to the new year.
Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles
Anyway, I hope everyone had a fun (and safe) NYE... and has a beautiful start to the new year.
Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles
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