Present

Well, this is my second attempt at this post... I wrote quite the eloquent description of my run this morning... and then it disappeared into computer nothingness. I am now at work, and not sure I am up to recreating such a stroke of literary genius (ok, maybe not, but I sure thought it captured my run). I guess the main point of what I wrote was that I was fortunate enough to be present to my run this morning, and really enjoy it. To pay attention to all the details of how I was feeling, and how that fit into the larger context of my life. I passed an older man walking his dog and he said, "great day for a run." I blurted out, "its beautiful!" I am sure he must of had some runs under his belt to recognize the beauty of this cool cloudy day as prime running weather... that lead me to thinking about all my wonderful running connections, and all the amazing people that I have run with over the years. Mostly I was thankful today to have a life that allows me to take such pleasure in something as simple as a run.

Today: 4 miles
Week: 7 miles

Whats This?

Two days of running in a row... and three runs in a weeks time? Wow. You bet I am going to take advantage of the warm (well, warmer) weather, and get my butt out there. Today I drove to the park and got 3 miles of grass running in... doesn't get much better (maybe my NW trees and dirt) than running on a nice wide grass trail through the woods. I am happy to report that I have swung out of my blahs, running is still some of the most potent medicine for me. I am hoping that I can keep getting a few runs in over the next week or so... until I get back to the more friendly (yes, I am wuss now ;-) winter running weather of CA. I was starting to feel the lack of fitness, and the build up of stress (no matter how well things are going, starting a business is a little stressful) kicking my butt. I would like to exceed the build up of miles that I had at this time last year and go into the spring actually in shape (sorta, kinda shape at least). Still have a marathon on my mind for sometime next year.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Heat Wave!!!

54 degrees at the moment... awww yes, I have been in Iowa too long when I am excited about a high that is probably equal to the low in CA. Oh well, I will take it. I had a very enjoyable run in T-shirt and gloves this morning. Even though these runs are anything but routine... it still feels very good to get out and get them in. There is also something extraordinary about getting these beautiful days after a cold snap. I must admit that Vallejo weather is nice more often than not (by a long ways), and I begin to sort of count on it. But to get out and enjoy an exception to the December Midwest norm... is a special thing.

Today: 4 miles
Week: 7 miles

Blah

I finally got my first cold (27 degrees) weather run in. As usual my first run in a while so my knee was bugging me half way in and it had to be a run/walk sort of thing. The main thing is that I got out and did it. I needed to. I am hoping to counter act a little slide into the blahs. It is supposed to go colder again so I am not sure if I will be able to get back out for a bit... I am getting old and wimpy. All those days I didn't run during my California winters... I guess it is good to see the other side.

Today: 3ish miles
Week: 3ish miles

12

All I got to say is... 12 degrees... and it is getting colder!!!

Turkey Day Take Two

Pre-Turkey Run,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

It is hard to believe that a year has gone by since I started this blog, and that I was beginning my journey to get the running shoes going again. A lot has gone on in that year. We missed Beetle on our run this morning. And a beautiful morning it was. After the run it was a soak in the hot tub. This is the life!!! Even with the break in my runs the past few weeks I felt pretty good today. I am thinking back to sucking wind last year on our Turkey Day jount. So even though my running hasn't exactly been the priority as of late... it is good to know that my fitness level is better off than a year ago.

Hope you all have much to be Thankful for... I know I do.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 5 miles

Ran.

Well, kind of... it wasn't much of a run. My knee was talking within a mile... so, it only ended up being a couple. However, enough to get me stretched out a bit, and hopefully ready to get a couple of runs in this week up in Oregon. It has been awhile since my last run, and even longer since doing so back in V-town. The run also took on some significance because it was a year ago that I started this Blog. What a year. I am not so sure that I made much of a Come Back (in my running anyway), but when I look at where my life was a year ago... then I can see a "come back" indeed. I have too much to do today to elaborate on that... However, I am hoping that this week brings some time to reflect on the journey of the past year.

Today: 2 miles (sore knee)
Week: 2 miles

Run?

Run... what is that? It seems like it has been forever since I was on a run. I am feeling better, and I am hoping that that the next few days will allow time for a run. Although we seem to be in the time period of using EVERY second of the day ;-)

I have heard rumor of 60 degree weather on the way... ooooh, heat wave. We'll see... that could be the extra push I need.

Halloween!

Happy Halloween... just wanted to send a spooky greeting to all... I am dressing as a tired entrepreneur. I have been fighting off a cold, or perhaps just stress/exhaustion... so no running for the past week. And it is in the teens tonight for our temp (low teens mind you), so that kind of weather is not helping. However, when I feel better... I am kind of looking forward to a freezing cold run (yes, I am sick well beyond the common cold). I have to admit a certain craving for it. I had some good midwest memories of freezing cold running. Not to often ice forms in the armpits of your shirt in California. One of those runs will probably do me just fine ;-)

Have a good one...

P.S. Beetle has his website up (mostly)... go check out what Southern Sole is up to.

Nap

Well, I was oh so close to getting a run in today... instead I took a nap. Yeah, not the same. I am craving a run, but feel pretty crappy so it has been hard to get out the door. I have run myself in to the ground a bit the past week or so, and now my body is fighting back. So, it is time to step back and make sure that I am taking care of myself (not always a strong suit of mine). The bright side is that the coffee house is starting to shape up... you can check out progress with the new link on the right side of the this page... TreeBed Projects. There you will find the start of another blog about my newest project (with links to pictures and such). Eventually we'll have a real website for the coffee house, but for now we'll just use the blog. The next few weeks will be pretty intense, hopefully it will generate some good stuff to talk about. However, it will be good ole Go Elvis! that reminds me to take time to get my running in (or some form of taking care of myself)... which I will do right now, and go to bed.

Post number 200!!!

Wow, 200 posts and about a month away from a year on this blog. It is hard to believe. In the next month I look forward to back tracking a little bit... reading over some of the early posts, and soaking it in. It was around this time last year that the damn started to show signs of stress. There were already small leaks, and the pressure of the pain and grief was beginning to punch holes in my wall. I can look back and see that now, but at the time I really had no idea how damaged I was. Well, perhaps I did, but chose to deal with it in poor ways... such as sticking fingers in holes... rather than punching more holes for the pressure to ease. That is what running did for me over the past 200 posts, but it was also the action of writing about it. That allowed much of that pressure to be released in a healthy way. Knowing that there was a handful of people on the other side that cared enough about that process to check in and read it every once in awhile... means more than you will ever know.

I now can see that I am in the process of taking down the damn all together. Time to let my life flow in a natural way... no longer damned up by grief and fear. Sometimes I wish to just blow it up and let the flood wash everything new, but I think there is also something to be said for taking it apart piece by piece. Allowing my life to adjust with the process, and perhaps understanding why the damn was built in the first place. I know that I am not the last person that is going to go through troubled times of grief... I want to be able to recognize when someone is at that bursting point. And then have the strength and understanding to support them as they let the waters break through the walls they have built. We all have those walls. Grief comes in many forms and from many areas of our life. Just watch the evening news... you can't help but absorb some grief of the world. That gets carried around. Being rejected by a loved one or loss in any form can cause grief, and that grief in itself is not evil. However, our society at the moment does a very poor job of giving people the tools to work through that grief. Thus, we have a world walking in grief. For those of you reading this... please know that I am committing myself to walk with that world, and give support in what ever way is called upon of my talents and skills.

Thank you for walking with me.

Today: 0 miles (so far)
Week: 10 miles (got 4 in yesterday)

Cozy 42 degrees

The sun came out and warmed it up to a blistering 42 degrees, and I jumped at the chance to get out and enjoy it. It was a short run, because we are doing more painting today. However, it felt great to get the legs moving... and pretty much no noise from my knee.

We are finally at a point where we are ready to be a little more public with the latest project. I will put some more info up on my next post... post number 200 for old Go Elvis!

Today: 3 miles
Week: 6 miles

Almost

It was almost a good start to my running week... but not quite. I launched out into the warm autumn air, and my feet were flyin! It was one of those days were you look out and expect it to be cold, and then the first air hits you... not cold at all. Which then makes it seem warm (even if it really isn't). Those "flyin" feet didn't last long. In fact, they had no business flyin at all. So about 13 min in... my knee was yelling at me to knock it off. I think my body is still very tight from the 30 hours of car. At one point I thought I might actually get a decent run in (more than my standard 3 miles), but it was not going to be today. Hopefully I at least loosened things up to get some good runs in this week... we'll see.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

On the Road Again... and then Some!!!

Well, I am happy to report that yesterday started off with a run (in Vallejo)... and ended a day and a half later in Iowa. 33 hours on the road (there were 3 of us, not just me)... and it is time for some sleep. I knew that the weather was going to be cold in Iowa, but I wasn't really prepared for what that was going to feel like... Geeeez!!! I will write more tomorrow... and may even bundle up for a run.

Today: 0
Week: 3 miles

Hummm...

Well, obviously not much running is being done... my days have been pretty darn jam packed (with great stuff). I have had some thoughts rambling around in my head that I want to get down, but it is once again too late. So, perhaps tomorrow, but I did want to put a post up saying I am still alive... and thinking about my next run (maybe tomorrow morning)... and also thinking about everyone else's running... and more importantly good ole life in general. I hope yours is well.

Best of Both

Today was the best of both worlds... we actually had rain the past two days (first rain of the season...) and it was chilly and grey until about 5pm today. So, that meant perfect weather to get a good afternoon nap in, and then wake up and have the clouds break for a beautiful run. Very nice!!!

The weather was putting on a show... my body on the other hand was not. My left knee wasn't happy, it has been a while...

Today: 3 miles
Week: 7 miles

Beautiful

Went out for an afternoon run today... it was perfect out. The sun had finally broke through and started warming things up, and off I went. You can feel the beginnings of fall creeping in here. The air is different. I love it.

Today: 4 miles
Week: 4 miles

How is everyones training going? Obviously mine isn't very consistant ;-) Anyone got any races coming up?

If At First...

You don't start running... try again a little later. Tonight as the sun was starting set I got myself all ready for my run. It had been a productive day and it seemed like a logical step to add a run to that productivity (plus I hadn't left the house yet ;-) It was quite a bit cooler than it was two nights ago, which was much to my liking... all was in place for a pleasant run. I locked the door behind me, walked to the edge of my stairs... and stopped. As I looked at my neighborhood I had no desire to venture off into it's concrete confines. I often don't look forward to this, but this was the first time it stopped me in my tracks. For the first time, maybe ever, I simply turned around and walked back inside. This was very strange. I sat down and thought about it... a friend had called so I sat and talked for a few minutes. I asked for a pep talk... Lets just say there is no future in motivational speaking for her. However, by the end of the conversation (perhaps just for the sake of not being on the phone anymore... if you know me at all you know how much I love the phone), I was ready to try again. Once again, I locked the door... turned to face my environment... and this time set off towards the rusting sky (which reminds me... I have a song to finish with that image in it... wrote it on the road home from Iowa). At first I thought this might have been a bad idea. I felt pretty lousy, maybe my body was telling me it was a bad day for a run. I didn't listen. I let the run progress as it needed, and before I knew it... I was back at my door... 4 miles later. It is good to give yourself a second chance.

Today: 4 miles
Week: 7 miles

Back at It

Finally got a run in... it has been a while. I had an amazing last week, but no running. I won't even try to fit my whole week into a post. However, I will say that it was a beautiful example of how people can live in balance with each other and the land. Really cool to be a part of!!!

Today was my day to get back into the swing of things... getting stuff done around the house, food shopping, catching up on work stuff, and thankfully a RUN. It wasn't a great run, but a run none the less. It was a beautiful evening for a run. Warm, and the sunset forced me to just walk for a bit and soak it in.

I hope that everyone is doing well...

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Out

Hey all... I will out of touch for a week. I will tell you all about it upon my return... take care.

On the Road Again...

Ugggh... Back at the driving bit. In Cheyenne getting ready to take off for a long day. I am draggin my feet a bit on actually getting going though. I did get a nice swim in last night... and had plans of starting off my morning that way, but the reality of that at 6am was a little more than I was up for. It was a nice thought though.

Quicky

Hey ya'll... no running (I am kind of craving one... which is a good sign for where my head is ;-) The past few days have been a hurricane of work!!! Maybe it is just that after working Beetle's mammoth project, our little space seems like a piece of cake... However, part of it is just a great compliment of skills and talents that I am surrounded by. We have completely transformed a cramped little photography studio, into a really cool space for coffee, music, photo display... community. And we haven't even got to some of the fun stuff yet!!! Ahhh... I am tired. A tired that I am proud of and had fun earning. I haven't talked much about specifics cause there have been things that were up in the air, but pictures and info are on the way... and hopefully a few runs as well.

Three More

I am living on my little 3 mile runs... snuck another one in today. The big news of the day is that I signed the sub-lease for our coffee space. So, now after being here for two weeks we can finally dig in fully!!! Yippee! More on all that later. Tonight we went to a house concert in town. Chad played a short opening set for an Austin singer-songwriter... Danny Santos. It was a good evening of listening.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 9 miles

Lazy Blogger...

Well, my lack of posts the past few days speaks to my running... but I suppose the silence also speaks to my time allocation for the blog. It has been a bit hectic. Yesterday was spent traveling to the Twin Cities to do some shopping (we ended up with nothing... well, not totally true), and Chad had a gig. This morning we drove back... I am beat. However, I did get a sluggish short run in. That I do feel good about. I really need to sneak a long one in soon... maybe tomorrow. We'll see. I longer post tomorrow as well.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 6 miles

Run with the Moon

I have mentioned before that I don't get to go on many (ok, any...) night runs in Vallejo. So, when I do get to go out for a run under a healthy moon... I enjoy it all the more. The warm touch of summer is hanging on, but fall is starting to collect in cool pockets of air. Although it was another short run, it felt powerful. I have been guilty to many times over the past year of just running to fit it in... tonight I soaked it in... used it to blow off steam... enjoyed it. I need to respect the potential of each run. I know that sometimes it just has to be done, so you can keep a string of fitness going... but we must remember how pure and simple the whole thing can be. I was lucky enough to do that tonight.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Uuuuugh...

Oh man... I ran about 3 hours ago, and I am just now getting to post about it... why? Well, I got done with an excellent run at sunset. It had been grey and rainy all day, and right when I got out the door to go run... the clouds broke and it was a beautiful show. So, I finished off a run (a bit faster pace than usual), called Papa Murphys (a new addition to Spencer), ordered a pizza, had to go across the street to the "store we shall not speak of..." so I could get a pizza cutter, ended up getting a movie (Grizzly Man, which I am about to watch... if I can stay awake), got back to Chad's apartment ready to rock'n'roll with my take'n'bake (I was REALLY excited about my pizza at this point)... Hummm... the oven won't light. Matches... no. Ooh a lighter... I could try to light a little piece of paper on fire and get the stove going that way... sounds like it would work, but no. Urgh!!! Ok, back out... find a gas station, no matches, but they do have a trigger lighter, that should work (I pick up some tasty beverages as well, make the trip worth while). Back to the apartment, which now smells strangely of burnt paper. The trigger lighter didn't seem to want to work either... Nooooooo!!! I am feeling like a grizzly bear at this point... one last try... whoooosh... WE HAVE IGNITION. Pizza goes in... the longest 12-15min of my life later... Mmmmmmm... and now, Uuuuugh. To much pizza. Oh well, now I will sit like a slug and watch my movie. Hope everyones weekend is treating them well.

Today: 3 miles (quick)
Week: 13 miles

Good Run

I am happy to say that tonight I had a good run. I waited till it was cooler, I had just got down pluggin away at my computer, and I forgot my watch... It was just me, the deer, the field and trees... awwwwww. Nice. I had been looking for that run where I felt better after the run than when I started. I got that tonight. I have been setting many of my runs up to fail, but tonight it clicked... for that I am thankful.

Lots to do, so I am off to shower and get back to work.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 10 miles

Run... sorta

Well, there was some running in there... I waited til later in the day (it has been so nice here), but I didn't drink much water during the day, it was warmer than I thought, and I was just plain tired. I was hoping the run would pick me up... ummm, not so much. I walked a good chunk, laid down on a bench in the shade and shut my eyes for awhile, walked some more... and then ran the rest of the way back to Chad's apartment. I actually saw Chad when I was heading back (he was out for a walk), I told him I was glad I ran into him while actually running... instead of him walking by me napping on the bench ;-)

Today: Lets call it 4 "all-purpose junk" miles
Week: 7 miles

Finally

Finally getting recovered from my trip... yesterday was a little rough. Not sure what the deal was, maybe allergies, maybe just my body saying, "chill out dude". So, lots of time just laying around doing nothing. Today I feel much better. It also helped to start the day off with a run.

Telling stories about the drive seems a little pointless now... but a few of the highlights (or low lights)... I ended up having to stop before getting all the way to Denver as I was hoping. I new that I needed to do that after a giant boulder hit my windshield (and instantly started cracking it), I started to get sleepy around 7pm after my 3:45am wake up (my brother didn't believe it would happen), and then I ran over a little bunny rabbit... that was the hare that broke the camels back. Oh, and then there was running my gas tank down to less than half a gallon of gas in the middle of Wyoming... yeah, I needed to stop driving. I am happy to say that the next day was much better. I had an excellent visit in Denver, and then the next day it was another full days drive to Iowa.

Now it is time to go to work... I will post more on that soon. Happy Monday to all!!!

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Road Note 3

Ok, finally made it to Iowa... whew!!! Had a meeting... had a dinner meeting... and then Chad kept me up too late talking about fun ideas ;-) So, my big update is postponed yet again, but I am here safe and sound (mom ;-) I will get a good update done tomorrow when I can see straight again, and am a little less loopy. Ahhhh... sleep!!!

Road Note

Made it to Denver... Yippee... will get an actual post going later tonight.

On second thought... too tired, another early departure tomorrow... I will write about the whole trip when I arrive in Iowa. There is good stuff too: rocks, a bunny... poor bunny, early mornings, gas rationing, mcdonalds dvds, friends, grinders, good meals, worlds problems being solved... this trip has it all!!!

Road Note

Just a quick note to say hello from the road... in the Salt Lake area... but not for long...

Good Bye and Fly...

So this is my first flight post "latest threat of terror. So, I got here a bit early... as I figured, I breezed through. Now I sit. At least PDX has free wi-fi (as it should be at airports)... not to mention lots of good eats and shopping if you wish.

My brief NW trip was good. I needed to come up for the memorial service, I needed that closure. It is hard to lose someone who you thought your would get to know better, and see grow into herself. I was sad for all the things that she wouldn't get to do for the world (and she would have done so much, and did so much in her short life). However, at the memorial service listening to all the stories about her (like when she brought a stranger she befriended home to feed them and help them out) I realized that the many people she touched (and there were a lot of people there) would carry a little piece of her out into the world. She in a sense would send us all out to do the work she would have tried to do. Of course we will go about it in our own ways, but you could not help walk from that service without a little more resolve to make the world a better place.

Rebecca, I will do my best to hold up my end of that... thank you for the passion that you put into your short time with us. You are loved and missed.

SOS

SOS,
originally uploaded by Miss Aniela.

I woke up this morning and found this picture from one of my Flickr contacts... Before even reading the caption I felt a connection to it. Sort of like, "oh yeah, I am not the only one out there feeling this way." It also reminded me of the many tools that I have to express how I feel in those dark places (as done so beautifully here by Miss Aniela). I can find my medication in many forms: friends, art, music, running, nature... that is the amazing part of the cycle... finding those things in contrast to the darkness. How sweet are the kind words of a friend, or the gentle sounds of my guitar, or the sweet breezes of an aging summer... so this morning, as I turn the page... I am thankful for those things.

Crappy

I would say that I have been lazy the past couple of days... but it isn't that... I have been crappy. It is the times when I need to run the most that it is the hardest to make it happen. I have said before that running is self medicating for me. However, that sometimes backfires when the depression pushes the medication aside. It ends up being a bad cycle. It is a cycle that I am tired of, but that is the kicker... that just makes me feel more depressed... and thus deeper into the cycle I go. I am not sitting here feeling sorry for myself (or maybe I am), I am just... I don't even know.

Tomorrow I am driving up to Portland for a memorial service for a girl (a soon to be senior in high-school) that was at the camp that I was counseling at a month ago. She was a girl that was struggling through a lot of stuff, and that I felt I would get to watch work through that stuff to blossom into a beautiful treasure of experience. An accident on the river ended that. Death now rubs wounds raw for me. It puts me right back into a fog of questioning everything that I see around me. I feel like this is my first opportunity to use what I have been through to help others, but I am having trouble seeing my own strength to do that. I thought this week would be about "rockin-and-rollin" in preparation for new ventures in my life... instead I have been back putting my energy into getting out of bed in the morning and putting one foot in front of the other. I miss my Dad.

It will be good to go to the service and find some closure on this... so, I know that this week has been about processing for me. However, I guess that doesn't make it easier. I suppose I had some hope that since I worked really hard on my stuff, and felt like I had made a lot of progress... that I wouldn't so easily get pushed back into dark places. However, I also have come to understand that in part, that is just me... that with getting pushed down there, I also have the ability to bounce back just as quickly. It is all part of my equipment. So, even as I write this, it is with some faith that by following this path through... I will come out the other end as needed. That is the beauty of hope (and why it is so dangerous to loose it). I hope that your weekends treat you well... in what ever your life circumstances might be.

Busy Day

It was a full day... trying to get as much done as I can before the next trip. However, I did manage to squeeze a run in. Pushed it a bit harder than my last few runs, but that was good I think. It is good to go past comfortable every once in a while. Had a strange little pain in my left ankle (about the only thing of note).

Today: 3 miles
Week: 8 miles

V-town

I was really dreading my first run back in Vallejo... it was so nice to be in the trees, and on endless dirt. However, I am happy to report that it wasn't too bad. It was still V-town, as I walked out my door there were three police cars (and a motorcycle), and they were taking pictures of this van in the middle of the street. Yeah... I have no idea what was going on... and frankly I probably didn't want to know. Perhaps it was another Bus incident. Whatever.

Today: 5 miles
Week: 5 miles

Smokey Sunset

Smokey Sunset,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

This is a picture of the river I have been running along... I need to get a shot of the trail, but this gives you an idea of the terrible conditions that I have been running in.

I struggled, and had to do some convincing of myself... but I got my 5 in. It is always nice to come out on the winning side of one of those battles with yourself. Although... I feel more tired than I should be. I think it is partly due to the multiple days in a row of running (also a switching from really humid/sea-level, to very dry/elevation). Anyway, it was a good solid week for my running... now I just have to keep it going.

Today: 5 miles
Week: 16 miles

Three in a Row

It has been awhile since I have done three days of running in a row... feels good. The running isn't quite smooth yet, but this is the only way to change that. Tomorrow I am going to shoot for 5+, which would be the longest run in sometime.

Today: 4 miles
Week: 11 miles

If Only...

If only I could always walk out my door... and within less than a mile be on dirt trails, wondering through trees, along rivers with mountain views... well, I will enjoy it while I have it. A good "life" thing to practice... enjoying what I have when I have it, rather than focusing on what is not there (past or present).

Today: 4 miles
Week: 7 miles

The Dry Mountain Version

Well, I am happy to say I am now at my next stop on the travel train... Sun River, OR. It is sort of like the "dry mountain version" of what I was doing last week. Yeah, my life is a little ridiculous at the moment. So, one short day at home (and I will speak about that later), and today was driving up to central Oregon. Upon arrival I changed into my running clothes, got my shoes on... and hit the trails. It is nice to get out into some dry mountain air that cools down as the sun sets. I will get some pictures as soon as I can. Time for dinner...

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Relax...

Ship coming in...,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

So this is the view from the porch of our condo... we actually went out on that boat snorkeling a couple of days ago (if you want to see the pix and are not on flickr yet, let me know and I will send you an invite). It will be a bit rough leaving my morning routine of coffee out on the porch with this to look at. Finally got a run in this morning. Just my usual 3. I wanted to go farther, but ended up doing a loop that ended right at 3 so... thats how it went. I think I am going to go get some swimming in too. Anyway, this has been good for me... just trying to be present to relaxing and soaking it all in.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles... and a bunch walking miles!

Random

The place where I am staying during the wedding festivities came about in sort of a random way... the father of the groom had reserved a condo for some family, and then plans changed and the condo was no longer needed. So, we (me and some others) ended up in a condo by "fill in". Now for the random part... as I was saying yesterday, this trip has got me thinking about the last time I was here with my Dad. To help that process along, we are staying in the same condo complex that we stayed in the last time I was here... a little strange. My brother and I were joking about it being the same place while driving towards it... and then laughing that it had the same paint color... and then got inside and started looking at the layout and view and yup... pretty sure it is the same darn spot. To funny. It is a beautiful place and I will get some pics up soon.

This is how to work...

This is how to work...,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

I really didn't want to bring the computer, but I suppose if you have to do some work... this is how it should be done. Tried to use today to sort of just catch my breath. I am staying in a funky little Hostel , and I randomly ran into friends (also here for the wedding... good eyes roomie). The last few hours have been spent sitting on the rocks watching the ocean, playing guitar, letting my internal dialogue ramble away. The last time I was here was with my Dad, in high school (that was a while ago). Plenty of thoughts of that trip have floated through... good thoughts, but it can't help numb the joy of this adventure a bit. However, I think that is why today was good. A day to let those thoughts be what they need to be, and I feel very comfortable that this will allow me to truly soak up the beauty of the rest of the week.

Lazy Days...

Ok, not really lazy... just when it comes to my running. I am in a bit of a summer lull. Traveling, work, heat... just a bit too much to fight through. So, my goal at the moment is to just keep up enough to maintain a working facade of fitness. Once things settle down a bit, or at least settle in... then I will hopefully start up the actual training towards a marathon in the Spring. However, the 3 miles I did last week... is not quite going to cut it.

What the...

What the...,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

So after travel hell yesterday, I felt I was having a good comeback this morning. Woke up, a short run, dip in the pool, decent hotel breakfast, upgrade to a sporty little rental... on my way... I stopped at Starbucks to see if they had sandwiches, and grab an iced coffee to finish the trip with. I walked in and they handed me a "blah-blahchino-cup-o-sugar"... free is a good price, so I reluctantly accepted, and then noticed... no sandwiches, or anything lunchish. Feeling it would be poor form (even at Starbucks, especially since the girl had just loaned me scissors to open a package) to turn around and walk out with my free cup-o-sugar, I bought the least sweet looking thing in the case. So, instead of a quick lunch, and a little pick me up... I am now full of sugar and a little shaky. Oh well, guess I will get back in my sporty little rental and wait for the sugary walls of goodness to come crashing down... Its fun while it lasts (I think).

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Hell (take two)

So I am sitting on a million degree plane on the runway in Las Vegas (for the last hour)... and instead of taking off... we are now heading back to the terminal to deplane, lose some fuel, get back on, fly away... but stop in some other random place in route to Omaha to get back the fuel we had to dump... I didn't sign up for this... but some how it all seems to fit.

Hell

If I believed in such things, I would say I have a much better idea of what Hell is like after today. Yeah, not the best day ever. I will spare you the gory details, but just the miserable temperature amplifies all crappiness I suppose. Anyway, no run, but I did get a sweltering 3 mile walk in (not by choice exactly). Guess that will be my work out for the day.

Better...

Well, it still wasn't "good" (my knee was talking to me about 12 min in), but it was better. It helped that I waited till it cooled off a bit (and I caught a beautiful sunset). I need to start stretching more. I have never been really good at being consistant with stretching, but my body needs it. I was thinking tonight that what I really need is to start Yoga... then I thought, "well, that won't happen anytime soon", and then I thought... "why the hell not?" I am not in one place long enough to take classes (which would be the ideal), but I do have a yoga for runners book... ahhhh, I could MAKE it happen. We'll see. It would be a good challenge for myself (not to mention really good for me).

At the moment I am watching The Edukators, it is a German film (don't be scared). It is a good flick with some good things to think about. Check it out sometime.

Today: 5 miles
Week: 11 miles

Blegh!

Today was one of those "get back into it" runs... you know, where you feel really crappy, but you just sort of have to push on through it. Yep, one of those. It didn't help that I let it get too hot outside before heading out. However, I am feeling good now that I got it in. I am hoping tomorrow will feel a bit better and I can jump back up to 5 miles, but for now... I will take what I can get. It is nice to be home... not quite ready to jump into all that I need to get done, but the clock is a tickin!

Today: 3 miles
Week: 6 miles

Ugly Shoes

Ugly Shoes,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

I am back from my week of camp... spending a week with a bunch of teenagers is worth at least an 80 mile week! I am certainly tired, but also had a great time.

Now it is time to get back to some training, and back to work. Another day of bumming around Portland (in recovery mode) should help get me ready for that.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Friday Again?

Geez, could it really be Friday already... I haven't had a lot of posts this week so maybe that is why it seems like I just posted about Friday. It has ended up being sort of a down week. My legs felt a bit torched after the run... then i torched myself on the 4th with some dehydration issues... then I jumped in a car and headed to the Northwest. Now I am up to Seattle for an evening (I am on the train right now), and Sunday I will head out to a youth camp for a week. Whew...

I did get a short run in this morning... felt pretty crappy, but it was beautiful out... so that sort of balanced it out.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 6 miles

Happy 4th

Got an easy run in Golden Gate park today... a fun holiday with the family. My legs are still a bit torched from the race.
Not much else...

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Race Results

Pre-Race Photo

Pre-Race Photo,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

Got my second run at the Angle Island trail run... It was fun to have friends along this time (and my mom... the photographer here). It was perfect conditions for running (although it would have been nice to see the view from the top of the island... it was a misty morning). I am going to be sore tomorrow for sure. It did feel good to go and blow the cobwebs out. That is the nice thing about a course that goes up and then DOWN... if you can make it up... then you can role down. I am not really sure what I was doing this morning... I showed up without clothes to warm up in, or change into. For some reason I woke up at 3:30am, I suppose that probably had a part in it. But once I got there I started wondering if I ever had done a race before...

Good times...
Today: 5 miles
Week: 16 miles

TGIF

I love to say that, but it really isn't any different than any other day for me... except that there are more people to play with on the weekends I guess. Anyway, it is a beuatiful Friday here in the Bay. I just got done with a nice easy run (got to rest up for the big day tomorrow ;-) It should be perfect weather tomorrow over on Angel Island. A little nicer than January (it was pouring rain). Anyway, ten million things going on right now... thats a lot... so, have a GREAT weekend everyone!

Today: 3 miles
Week: 11 miles

Something Fun...

Here is something to occupy your time while you should be working (ahhh, this stuff is much more fun)... Map My Run.

No Title

Today: 5 miles
Week: 8 miles

Its a minimalist kind of day...

Mental Marbles

By all accounts, today should have been great... I saw, and talked to good friends that I don't see often. Watched some futbol, ate amazingly well today (always a bright spot for me)... However, I just never had the mental marbles to enjoy it. I am not sure what the deal was. Just couldn't come up with it. Part of that might have been a lack of a run... so, part of why I am writing this stuff down, is to make sure to run tomorrow. Whenever I reach a new mental plateau it always hurts twice as much when I slide off... it is part of the cycle. I understand that, but damn it still hurts. I guess I need to recognize that it is probably my "self" trying to tell me something... time out perhaps. I need to be a better listener. That is why this blog is good for me... there are lots of ears that keep me in check. Not that I am good with nagging, but knowing that I hate contradiction... when I am not listening to my own needs, putting it in writing makes me see my own contradictions. That usually helps force change. It always comes back to, one step in front of the other. No matter how fast, or slow, or experienced... one foot in front of the other. One step...

Walk away feeling Good

Any run that you walk away feeling good about... is a good run! It could be short or long, slow or fast... it doesn't really matter as long as you walk away feeling good about it. I had one of those this morning. It was short, but I felt strong and there was no pain from the knee. The day is amazing (70s during my run, and on the rise). I will be doing the run that I did back in January on Saturday. That will be fun, and even better than the first go... because I am doing it with friends this time around (oh, and I will have the chance to break Skippy off... did I just say that out loud ;-)

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Pink Triangle

Pink Triangle,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

This week was a bit of a wash in the running department. I did discover that something has changed in me... a motivation or lightbulb to live that is growing brighter (a good thing to see). However, I didn't see a whole lot of results in terms of pounding the pavement. I did try to get my last run of the week in tonight... but my knee didn't really like the whole day in the car yesterday. So, it was more of a run, walk, run, walk, run... type thing. I will call it 3, but that is being generous.

On an inspirational note though. This morning I went with my mom into SF and helped (well, supported) my cousin (and a bunch of family that came into town) put up a giant Pink Triangle, a symbol used by the Nazis to recognize and persecute gays (among a whole batch of other symbols for people they didn't like, and ultimately tried to destroy). The gay community has adopted that symbol in a way to take back that persecution, and turn it into a pride of acceptance as well as remembrance. Perhaps gay issues make you uncomfortable, that is ok... but hopefully you can see the value in having justice for ALL people. This is a celebration and a symbol about recognizing the humanity that we all share. Remembering that we must work together to give ALL people a chance at the happiness that we all crave. A powerful and needed message in our world today. It was quite a festive event... with the mayor, celebrities (none of which I really new cause I don't watch enough TV) and just a cool community atmosphere. A good reminder to be good to each other.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 9 miles

Weaverville

I am kickin it in Weaverville with my mom. No run so far today, but we did do a nice 5 mile hike. We'll see if I have anything left for a run tonight... it would be nice, but might not happen. It is good to get out and see some new scenery. We are staying at a funky little place, the Weaverville Hotel. Last night when we returned to our room... the sheets had been turned down (not unusual), we had truffles on our pillows (nice touch) and there was a cat in our room (a little strange ;-) Mom sort of jumped when she saw it... He snuck in and then got stuck in there. He sort of acted like he had more business being there than we did.

Just Change

So the bad news is that I had a discipline hick-up the past two days... sure I had lots to do, and some poor logistics. However, I could have got at least one run in, and didn't MAKE it happen. The good news is... I already have my run in today, and it is not yet 7am!!! I went to bed making a deal with myself that if my mom got up before 7am, then I would get up and get a short run in. What do you know... I woke up at 6:11. I even tried to fight it... I gave myself the line, "I got things to do... (see Paul and I's earlier comments)" despite my best efforts to ignore the voice in my head (or most likely my heart), I got out of bed and went for a short (but sweet) run. There is an internal change that has happened. By letting go of some of the baggage in my heart, I have cleared the room of stuff to hide behind. That I must say... feels pretty good!

Oh, yeah... I am at my mom's (Vancouver, WA). This is a less than 24 hour visit. Flew in last night, drive away this morning. Mom decided she wanted to do a road trip, and I decided I needed some traveling that didn't involve... long days, sleeping on couches, many hours on planes, or much work in general. I have had fun doing all those things the past two months, but I have realized that they still take their toll. So, a little road trip down to CA with mom should be fun. Hope everyone's week is going well.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 6 miles

Smile

It was a good day... not exactly the easiest, but I am ok with that. Plenty of moments that made me think of my Dad and smile (a few tears in there too). It also felt good to have let out the thoughts that I shared last night. I walked with a lighter heart today. And I got a short run in...

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Letting Go...

No run yet, letting it cool down... we'll see if it happens. I am happy with the week so far, but hitting 20 would be nice. Today the focus shifts a bit back to my grieving process. It is a topic that hasn't popped up here for awhile... and I do admit that is partly due to neglecting the process... However, I am also happy to say it is partly because I am far enough along the process to not have it consume all my attention. I am making this weekend about letting go. It is not an easy weekend. Dad passed away on Father's Day and so it makes it sort of a double whammy. I am certainly in a much different place than I was when it happened, and also from a year ago... it is hard to believe 2 years have passed. I am looking at this next year as a time to embrace and put into practice the things that I have worked for over the past year (and mostly over the past 6 months or so). What I am about to write is my story of my day two years ago. It is something that I don't want to carry around anymore as a burden. It will always be a part of me... but right now it is something that weighs me down because I want a "pay back" for it... it is one of those horrible experiences that you go through in life and think that no one else could understand, and you feel like the world owes you something for putting you through it. My Dad was a gift to both me and all who met him. For that I am thankful... by letting this story out for the world to read, I am connecting to both the suffering and joy that is our existence as humans. Here is my attempt to tap into that, and let go of some of my own pain...

Two years ago today I said goodbye to my Dad before going to work, just as I had the whole week prior... these were not careless words tossed out, banking on the thoughtless faith that I would see him again soon. No, these goodbyes were small rituals of letting go. Letting go of the idea that the body that lie there (practically unconscious) was still my Dad, and that he would still have his breath when I returned. In retrospect, I am not sure why I was still going to work during those last days... I suppose that the process had been so drawn out that it just made sense, that is what he would have done. Knowing I could not do anything to change the outcome of what was going to happen... I would go pass the time with the distraction that was my job. Part of me wishes I would have just stayed there and sat with him. However, this day, like those earlier in the week I would not get the half expected phone call at work (although each time it rang I winced), and when I returned home I would get the chance to simply sit with him. It was horrible. He was in a great deal of pain, and seemed less and less the form that I knew as my Dad. The feeling of extreme helplessness was drowning everyone in the house... although we all played it cool, if nothing else to support each other (the only form of "something helpful" we could do). My final hours with him felt every bit as long as the 20 some years that his death was inevitable. The sound of his labored breathing made me wish for the most deafening silence, the kind that is maddening when you are actually surrounded by it. However, as the hours went by that was still my wish... a silent freedom for everyone, most of all him. Each agonizing cough, or struggle that he made caused everyone in the room to hold their own breath. Watching the human body fail connects you deeply to your own fragility. It changes you. It is as if you were told a secret that you are not supposed to share at any cost, but you have the eerie feeling that everyone else knows... each person walking along pretending they haven't been told. I sat there, holding his hand... feeling what little life he still had trying to connect to me and take care of me... knowing that this experience was causing me (and other loved ones) pain was probably what was hardest for him. I tried to pour all the love that I had into that touch. How do you truly convey how much someone means to you, or how much you love them? After a number of hours, I could hardly stand it... I just wanted him to let go, move on to what ever was in front of him. I put my hand on his chest and did my best to touch his heart, "go be free..." I don't know how many times I said it, and then finally it happened. His body quit. It couldn't fight anymore... his breath became calm for a few moments... and he was gone. My own breath struggles even as I write this... However, there was a sense of freedom. A letting go. It was late midnight... Father's Day. I wasn't sure what that meant to me anymore. My brother and I held on to each other for a bit, and the others who were in the house. He lay there still, I didn't fully comprehend until we turned on the light... that the body in front of me was most definitely no longer my Dad. There are several images that will never leave me, and that is certainly one of them. Next was all the formalities... the things you have to do when someone dies. These is a numbness that goes with all of this... it is simply going through the motions of something, like getting your car fixed or ordering take out. Very little of it seems to fit the scope of what just happened. After sometime had passed I went out to the front steps of the house. It was a pleasant night, with a clear sky... clear enough to view the stars. I decided that I would go to the stars to find my Dad from then on. It made sense. The stars are there whether we can see them or not... I can't exactly comprehend them, but they somehow make sense... and never fail to amaze me. I have not searched out those stars very often over the passed two years. I think that I am ready to start doing that a little more often. I now recognize the value of that ritual, and the strength I can pull from my experience. That is part of sharing it. Allowing myself to honor the experience as something that has shaped my life. Seeing that life doesn't "owe" me anything... but that it is my responsibility to use what I have learned along the way to strengthen and appreciate the relationships that I have. If you have read this, then I thank you for sharing in this process, and I am blessed by that connection... whether I know you well, or you are a stranger that stumbled upon this and we are now connected by our humanity. Give thanks tomorrow for those relationships you cherish (fathers or otherwise), we are fragile, but there is a strength that lies underneath the surface that is unlimited... be freed by that strength.

Hot Hot Hot

It was a warm one here today... made for sort of an ugly run, but I did it. Not much else...

Today: 4 miles
Week: 16+ miles

Time Change

Today I made the time adjustment work for me... I heard my brother leave at 6am, and I was awake... so I got up. Weird. I guess it is a good thing. I have already got some time in the garden, a few hours of work in and a run. I will admit that it is sort of creeping me out that it is not even noon yet. Perhaps I will become an early riser... we'll see what happens as the time change wears off.

Today: 5 miles
Week: 12+ miles

Cob Work Party

Cob-A-Sutra,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

Well, nothing like jumping right into things... no rest for the weary. I spent the majority of today playing in the dirt. I met up with the lady who taught my Permaculture course (Penny Livingston-Stark) to help out with a work party building a cob green house in Petaluma. Cob is a mixture of clay, sand and straw that is used as a building material. It has been used for thousands of years and there are plenty of examples around the world of what a wonderful way of building cob is. The best part about it is that it is so simple and community oriented. It is basically all about playing in the dirt...

Tonight I am going to a lecture in the same spot that will be on Regenerative Design ideas. Should be fun. Who needs a day of rest...

Breakfast

Breakfast,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

Now it is back on a plane... Hope everyone's Monday is a pleasant one.

Slowly, But Surely

I was really tight this morning (a lot of driving yesterday), but I got a short one in... And that strings together a pretty solid block of running for me. It is in the right direction anyway. I am starting to get that feeling of running being a built in part of my day. I teetered on skipping out this morning... "ahhh, I ran yesterday... and I am tight (all the more reason to run), and..." However, that something in my head that has clicked back into "running mode (well, actually I would say its more of "take care of myself mode") got me out the door. The trick will be keeping it going when I go home. I still haven't found the secret to getting it done in Vallejo... but it sounds like a good challenge. Heck, the way this year has been I will only be home for a week anyways... Time to go shower and find a good breakfast spot.

Today: 3 miles (hammy was tight, tight, tight...)
Week: 7+ miles

Lots of Possibilities...

Ahhh, the last night of my travels... I will be heading home tomorrow, and I look forward to being home for a bit. This was a good trip with lots of different things going on. Many different roads laid out in front of me. Tonight I took a road that had no end... I thought I would do a little loop around the lake, but the lake never ended. Luckily it didn't end up being to much longer than I was shooting for, and it was good for me to get an extra mile in. It was a perfect night for running. A good end to my journeys.

Today: 4+ miles
Week: 4+ miles

Got to Love it...

Well, maybe... Good ole Iowa. Run one day and it is hot as hell, the next there is a wind chill that makes it feel 40 degrees. My poor body wasn't quite sure what to think. Only went for a short 3, but it felt pretty good (other than the monster freezing cold wind ;-) I have never been much for morning running, but it sure does feel good to start your day and have a run under your belt. I don't know that I had a choice... I woke up to country music blaring outside Chad apartment window. It is Flag Fest going on in Spencer, and today is the parade... great day for a parade.

Oh and Skippy, motivation was noted and taken into account this morning... we'll see what happens ;-)

Today: 3 miles
Week: 13 miles (double digits for the first time in a while)

run

Well, no excuses for yesterday... I did get a decent walk in (not the same, I know), to much crammed into the day. Today on the other hand, I am happy to report a solid 6 miler. I got to run through a park just outside of town, mowed trail through the tall grass, and much of it along a small river. It was warm, but a nice breeze kept it comfortable. No knee pain, and over all... a great run. It also was good to get out and let my mind spin a bit. Often a run will clarify messy thoughts. We'll see. Now I have earned my right to be tired... and I think it nap time.

Today: 6 miles
Week: 10 miles

Yummm...

Well, I must admit... I was feeling a bit sorry for myself the past day or so. Once again I left Alabama without finishing off what I set out to do. Part of this is somewhat unrealistic expectations of my learning curve with a totally new medium, but I also have to own up to this outcome being an all to common theme in my life. That was somewhat depressing. However, I am now in Omaha (getting ready to head to Spencer, IA), and I am feeling a bit better. I decided to take a little time to myself and eat in Omaha before the drive (in my sweet mini-van rental). I ended up at the Upstream Brewing. I was thinking just normal brew pub fare... but ended up going for a beautifully prepared rib-eye Omaha steak (with maytag blue-cheese butter & chives) over organic greens, and potato fingers. This was a great way to get back on track. I also had a pretty tasty IPA. So, if you find yourself in Omaha, check it out. Anyway, it is amazing how a good meal can change your world. I thought of many my favorite meals dinning with friends and family. Even though this meal was solo, I had all those memories to keep me company. Now it is on to the next project... time to gear up a bit... this could be the beginning of big things. I almost feel that this will be a major corner I am turning in my life. That is exciting. A little scary, but exciting. Got to get a run in tomorrow. No excuses.

A...T...L

Went to Atlanta for the first time yesterday... sat in major traffic (construction), had a tasty iced coffee from quite the trendy little coffee bar, did IKEA (complete with drama), ate dinner in Buckhead (oooh) and headed back to T-town. Whew!!! Today has been a solid day of work. I will get some pictures up tonight of progress. Just got a nice 4 miles in... a good start to a week of running (that is the goal anyway).

Today: 4 miles
Week: 4 miles

Run

Got my first run in a while in today. Tucked it into the fringe of a storm rolling in, and enjoyed a pleasant temp... and a beautiful rain. I was a little nervous on how I would feel. I have felt so crappy, but this run actually felt pretty good. As soon as I got out of the truck the humid air filled my nose and it smelled just like a summer run in Iowa. Normally that wouldn't have triggered "good" thoughts, but today... it made me think of times when I was in shape and rollin. That was a good way to start the run. I did my usual 4 miles (I let Beetle go crank a few on his own). However, afterwards I put a few strides in... this was almost magical (yes, that is a little corny, but true). I remembered strength, discipline and confidence I have not seen in a long time. I reconnected to all the strides I had put in after solid training runs, before races... I used them to build a conditioned response in my body. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that it is still there. This definitely got me ready to put together my next training plan, and get to work. I'm so tired of being wishy-washy in my life... I want to strive for a life "in the middle", but there are most certainly times when we need to be decisive. The trick is clearing your plate enough to trust your gut on when to do that, and what course to choose. I have been saying I would like to have one more shot at being in shape (decent enough shape to crank a bit and feel good), but I have not been putting energy towards sustaining focus on that goal. Mostly I have just blown it off... sometimes for good reason. However, this might be the time. So, I am going to get back to my 30 miles a week deal that I made myself... see how that feels... and make a clear plan of what I want to accomplish. Stay tuned...

Today: 4 miles
Week: 4 miles

Coming Together...

Coming Together...,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

It is looking pretty darn cool. Click on the picture and check it out.

Chewy Air

Well, I am happy to report that the South has met expectations finally for weather. It is hot, and the air is thick. I had quite the fun day getting here yesterday... First the commute and BART didn't cooperate in getting me to the airport on time. Yep, missed flight, but then I was put on another flight quickly... great, one plane to Birmingham... one plane that stopped in San Diego and then Kansas City, and then St. Louis and THEN Birmingham. And since we were running a bit late, there was no getting off the plane... which means, lots of peanuts as my meals for the day. If this sounds fun to you... please check yourself into a mental ward soon, you are NOT well. However, after a delicious Reuben and a couple of tasty IPAs... I was feeling much better.

Anyway, I was struggling to get my energy up for this trip... but now that I am here, I am ready to roll. Especially after seeing the store... it looks really good. I will get some pics up soon. Off to work...

A Good Start

A Good Start,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

This is the first round (well, there has been some go before this) of "stuff" that is moving on. I think this may start a landslide of material blah, blah, blah out my front door...

3am on the 30th...

Since my last post was at 3:33pm I figured since I was here... I had to at least write something. However, I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow, so it won't be much...

Holiday

So, it seems a bit strange to me that one of my most productive days (in terms of sitting at my desk and getting crap done) in a long time... has been on a day when most people are off of work. That is how it goes when your schedule has no rhyme or reason. I leave on Wednesday for Alabama, and so I have to get stuff done to feel ok about taking off again. Anyway, I hope that everyone has had a splendid Monday whether at work or out goofing off...

Letting Go...

I am taking a day to myself on this fine Sunday. However, as part of that I decided to jot down a few of my thoughts, and that happens to included who ever is reading this. So, welcome ;-) I am using today to sift through "stuff" and clean out that which no longer needs to be kept. I have talked about doing this on here before. The power of cleaning out and letting go... it can be a big job. It is a strange thing to inherit a house. Most people spend there lives working to buy a house and fill it up with "stuff" (usually to realize they don't need half of it)... my brother and I must do the opposite. Take a house full of "stuff" and whittle it down to what we need (and want). Some of this is easy. For example, today I am going through sheets... holy cow, we have enough sheets to open a decent sized hotel. Not too hard for me to toss old sheets into a bag for give away. However, when it comes to random things that remind me of my dad... that seems harder. As if I am giving up one more little piece of him (and can't bare the thought of losing anymore). Some of those things I end up keeping til the next round, and some I say good bye to. Perhaps if I come across one of these items from now on, I will write down a little memory that I get from the item and send it on its way. As I get more and more focused to live my own life, I realize the power in letting as much baggage go as possible. I am finding ways to keep close the spirit of my dad, and let go of the surface. This is something that I am working on applying to the whole of my life. If I could keep focused on the spirit of those around me, rather than their surface... I would have a LOT less to let go of... guess that is why it is called a journey.

I hope you find something beautiful in the spirit of your day...

Ahhhhhhhhhh

Ahhhhhhhhhh,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

Took a random trip up to Yosemite to get away... It is always good to get up there and re-focus. Being in the park puts my world in perspective. I think it is the size of everthing...puts all my little things into place. We had to get back to town to play a show (which is a good thing), but even a short trip to Yosemite is a good trip.

ReCharge

As you can see... not a whole lot in the postin department. I am backing off from as much as I can for a few days. Time to recharge a bit. I am hoping to get a few runs in next week to start back up, but it depends how I feel. I am however going to start a plan for getting in good enough shape to run a marathon next spring. So, a few days to ponder how I want to go about it, and then the journey will begin. Right now I am looking at the Napa Marathon, but we'll see. Anyway, anyone who wants to start training... we'll make it a Go Elvis! event. Maybe we can get TreeBed Design to design some singlets, and maybe we talk Southern Sole into getting involved. Speaking of which... we are making progress. Lots of uncontrolables getting in the way... leaky roofs, slow contractors and just lots to do in general. However, it looks like a mid June opening will be possible. Keep your fingers crossed... I head back in a about a week to put the finishing touches on my end (and help with any last minute craziness...) Send some good thoughts Beetle's way!!!

Gut

Gut,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

A little back tracking going on... Lessons being learned. Haven't had much time to write, but lots going on. Painting, grinding and all sorts of little random things getting done.

Back to it

On the road again... well, I suppose "In the Air" would be more appropriate. I am in Phoenix now heading towards Alabama. This is now starting to feel sort of familiar. "Wasn't I just here..." running through my mind. I am tired, but excited to be heading back. I am looking forward to finishing off some of the projects that I have going back there. The store should start looking like a store this time around. Hope everyone's weekend is going well.

Ummm...

Well, no 5 miles today... not because of lack of motivation, but decided that it was the best idea. I am feeling pretty lousy so I wanted to give my self some rest. So, hopefully I will get my feet underneath me soon. I will be off to Alabama again tomorrow for more fun in the south.

Even in Australia...

Today was one of those days... nothing seemed to work quite right, or at all ;-) I will spare you from the ugly details, and I really can't put my finger on why it was soooo crappy. It just seemed to be my turn. I did get a run in just now, and I feel a little better. Ok, that is a lie, but I suppose the day isn't over... it could turn around. Anyway, if I don't run 5 miles tomorrow... someone come out here and kick my butt!!!

Today:3 miles + (24 min)
Week: 6 miles +

Change of Pace

Today has been a nice mix of relaxing a bit after my adventures... and jumping right into the things that need to get done to continue those adventures. It feels like... well, my life. If that makes any sense. By that I mean, it feels like a natural extention of me, and the catch is... in a positive way (which has often been missing). I have spent much of the past year doing almost the exact same motions I am doing today. However, today I am doing them in a much more intentional way. I woke up with purpose. That can be a powerful thing.

At the moment I am in Berkeley eating lunch at one of my favorite sandwich places (Cafe Intermezzo). It is such an interesting contrast from being a couple of blocks off of University of Alabama's campus. I would love to pick up half the student body of each university and switch them... I wonder who would be the most frightened? The two campuses could possibly be polar opposites. I am glad though. In this current world of cookie cutter everything... where interchangeable suburbs are the norm (and even more sad is interchangeable downtown areas), it is good to see different areas of the country so unique in their population. It makes for interesting travels and I think a stronger fabric of our country.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Heading Home...

Before leaving Omaha I got to have lunch with two guys that are high on my list of hardworking, classy runners that I have run with and coached. It was a great way to cap off my trip... and I wish them luck tomorrow in their races tomorrow (I look forward to hearing how it goes). The idea of Boston 2008 was thrown out there... more on this later.

I am in PHX now, and heading out soon to finish this latest journey. It has been a very rich couple of weeks. I am looking forward to seeing the bay, and gearing up for the next round of adventures. Hope all your weekends are going well.

The Miser

Tonight I am hanging out backstage of a production of The Miser that my friend Chad is in. This is at the Spencer Community Theatre. I actually watched the production last night... Tonight I am stashing myself away in the green room. I have some work to do so that will be fine. Community theatre is such a cool thing. An opportunity for people to be someone else, interact with their neighbors, learn, teach... have fun. Spencer is a place where the community theatre is supported and used effectively. I very much enjoy being around it.

Tomorrow I head home... it is hard to believe how long I have been gone. Soooo much has been packed into these past few weeks. I have learned a ton, and tried things that I have wanted to try for years. It will be nice to head home (if only for a few days). I am looking forward to seeing my brother, and my crew back in the bay (see you all at the Giants game if not Sunday).

I have grown a lot during this trip I think... grown into myself in many ways. The flow of my actions defining my life, rather than me trying to hold tight to perfect ideas of what my life should be. I have projects unfolding in front of me, and I am trying my best to step back to observe as much as I can. The goal is to look for where my talents and skills will be useful... and where I am better off to let someone else move forward. I am developing a strong sense of the importance of learning the difference between going into a situation with a high level of confidence, and at the same time... leaving my ego behind. If I can do that... I can be very effective, and accomplish a lot at a very high level. This is exciting to me.

Coffee?

I am now in Iowa and exploring a new project. This would be switching gears a bit (back into my coffee hat), but following the same lines... helping get a business off the ground that will benifit a community of people, and raise the bar of the independent businesses that surround them. I will write more soon...

P.S. I have upgraded from Beetle's floor... to Chad's couch... ahhh, living the life.

Sleepy

A string of 2am bedtimes, 15+ hour days, and the stress of trying to pull off a bunch of stuff that I have never done before... has left me a bit foggy. I am sitting here in Chicago after a 5am wake up, and a 2 min flight from Birmingham (that was all that I was awake for ;-) Now it is on to Omaha, and a drive up to Spencer, IA. I am looking forward to this next adventure, but it might take a day or two to switch gears... we'll see.

Planning

Ahhh, we have gone from tossing around 80lb bags of concrete to tossing around business jargon and numbers. Tonight we are hammering out the second half of a business plan for Southern Sole. I sure wish I had soaked in a little more of that Intro to Business class back in the day. I was cruzin till we got to all the number stuff... then the eyes sort of glazed over (or maybe that was because I have gone to bed after 2am the past few nights). Had to extend my time here until Wed. (too much to do), and then it is to Iowa. Have I mentioned I am heading to Iowa next? Yup, off to Spencer, IA for a few days before heading home. Will be looking into my next project perhaps. Tom, if you are out there, I will be in touch...

Ok, all... back to business.

Today: 4 miles (holy cow was my body hurtin from pouring those counters)
Week: 4 miles

Counter

Counter,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

We got the counter poured... and a bunch of other stuff done the past two days. It took some doing though. 18 hours on Saturday, and over 10 today (we woke up at noon). For our first time doing anything like this, it is not too bad. There are some things we did well, and some things not so well. Saturday night was pretty funny pouring the thing while all the kiddos were out on the town. We definitely got some strange looks. Time to go back and crash... wake up and do it again.

Big Time

Today is going to be Big Time! We have a bunch of track guys coming in, and hopefully we will be making a big push. The counter should happen today (little nervous), and most all of the messy stuff. It will be nice to get to the end of the day and clean the heck out of the place... NO MORE DUST!!! Alright... back to it.

Stick a Fork in Me...

I'm done. Today's run showed me that I need to get back into a disciplined routine. I don't think that I am in that bad of shape, but I just don't have a good grasp of what is going on in my body. When I was in great shape I was much more in tune with the little ups and downs of myself. When a run didn't go well, I could pin point why. There are plenty of reasons why my runs don't feel great... lack of sleep, on my feet working, stress, humid air, Beetle and Robert going faster than my normal trot of the past months... perhaps it is just the fact that I'm lagging behind, maybe my old running spirit wants to get in gear and doesn't have the gas right now. Who knows. Anyway... today was a big day... we should come in tomorrow to a freshly painted ceiling at Southern Sole. That will be nice. Lots to do in the next few days...

Today: 4 miles
Week: 12 miles

New/Old

New/Old,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

It was a bit of a rough one today... Several late nights, and an extra late one last night, made me pretty worthless today. I am getting to old for late night activities. Well, to old to be of much use the next day. I did get a run in today, and in my new shoes (thank you Southern Sole), but it was ugly. However, the good news is that the knee felt better the first go out in the new kicks. I have been brewing up some thoughts about my time here in the South, but I am way too tired to spit them out tonight... plus I am polishing off a business plan. So, hopefully we get out of the Tank pretty soon and get a nights sleep that is worth writing home about. Some how I doubt it. Things have been cranked into super crazy mode.

Today: 4 muggy miles
Week: 8 miles

Test #1

Test #1,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

I have dove in on my first concrete counter... I am still a little nervous about pulling the whole thing off, but it is fun to jump into something new.

Got a good run in yesterday... my knee is still talking to me like clock work at 20 min. Hopefully new shoes take care of that little deal.

Other than that... just workin, workin, workin.

P.S. I am waiting for some updates BAYA... missed you all this weekend. I hope it was great! And thanks for the pix.

10 Years... Class of 96

Somehow during our late night in the Tank, Beetle and I stumbled upon high school track records from good old HBHS. That led us to talking about the fact that we have our 10 year reunion coming up. I was saying I doubted anything would happen for it... However, we then found a blog devoted to making it happen (I stand corrected). We'll keep an eye on that...

Oh, and Amy... if you make it to this page... Heed Beetles words...

Doing Time

Doing Time,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

Today we got the office/lounge in workable condition. It is now called the "Think Tank". It is plush... or something. Our run got canceled by an all day storm that rolled through. I have a pair of shoes on the way so I wasn't too sad, it will be good to have new shoes on my feet. I seem to only be able to go 20 min before the knee starts yelling at me.

Maybe I should start wearing this monstrosity (maybe not)... Check out this bizarro shoe Masai Barefoot Technology.

1 Hour decathlon

Today was a day of getting acclimated, and of prep work... The high light of the day was going to the track to watch a couple of guys do a "1 Hour decathlon". This was a couple of red-shirt athletes that were testing themselves with a few random people jumping in here and there. Doing a decathlon is tuff, doing it in an hour... That is tuffer!!! It was fun to be out on the track. It was hot as hell and there really wasn't all that much going on. However, it just felt good to be in that atmosphere. It has been a while since I have even set foot on a track. For something that used to be such a major part of my life, it seemed sort of strange to be standing there with no ties to it (other than my history). For one, it was just nice to be out around people pushing themselves to their limits (and I saw some limits pushed... the decathlon ended with the "loss of lunches"). That is something that I always liked about track... it was a place where you saw the benefits of working hard. At some point I will need to find some way to get involved with track again. Even if it is just attending track meets. Being out there today had a familiarity that I miss. I have so many hours logged (with many of you reading this) of just sitting out on the track laughing, sweating, working... having fun. Good times. Times that I am so thankful for.

Off to sleep with the far away rumbles of thunder...

Back in Bama

A strange feeling that I have just been here... and well, I guess I just was, but the two worlds are sooo different it doesn't seem real. Perhaps that is the name of the game for 2006. I have been all over the place. Flying into Birmingham was exciting. It started with some of the most beautiful clouds I have ever seen. It was right at sun set, and the light was amazing. Also the electricity could be felt through the window as the storm below was bursting. As we sank into the puffs of white the contrast of white on blue faded to dark monotone grey. Things also got a bit shaky. Suddenly it was night and the warm light of the sun was replaced with the cold sparks of lightning. I do miss the storms of my Midwestern days, and this all brought a smile to my face (especially once we were safely on the ground). Ahhh, the South... the perfect spring weather of my last visit (a week ago mind you) has faded into the sticky thickness one would expect. Oh well, I suppose it goes with the territory... it somehow fits the place. After a few pints at the Innisfree (the pretty people were on full display) it is time for bed. Back to the grind. Actually, I am quite excited. This is what I want to be doing... and I am doing it. Can't ask for much more.

Travel...

Lets see... early wake up, last minute packing, things I forgot, commute traffic, beautiful early morning sun, BART, guy snoring (loudly), the sense that my life is a gift, girl putting on make-up, bus fare, girl who works at MOMA, security, coffee (finally), old lady hogging my elbow space, Salt Lake City, old man REALLY hogging my elbow space, St. Louis, crappy airport food, iced chai dessert, new verizon pc card, blog, one of the cattle...

Birmingham, here I come.

Stuff.

Been a busy bee... trying to get stuff done before heading back to Alabama on Wednesday. The weather has finally remembered that it is the middle of April and brought back the sun. So it was nice to get out into the yard and do some putzing around. Now I just got to get my butt out the door for a run...

Beautiful Day

Today was a perfect example of how having the "bad", allows you to really appreciate the "good". My arrival back to California was dreary, cold and wet. However, today was nearly perfect... Sunny with billowing puffy clouds in stark contrast to the deep blue. You could almost see the plants stretching out to gulp up the sun after withstanding so many winter down pours. Somehow I doubt I would have recognized the awesome beauty of today without the dramatic turn around from yesterdays weather. This is the case with many things in life. My dad once said something like this to me in college. I was having a rough spell... He said something close to "appreciate the bad as best you can, it is how you know the good, is truly good." I sort of feel like I am nearing the verge of knowing that good... really knowing it. I have good things all around me, but it is my core that is in "rough times". So until that piece of me comes around, I will remain in that dark place. However, that is what I have been working on over the past few months (and continue to work on), and I am beginning to see how my life can embrace (and "truly know") the good. For that I am thankful.


Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Portland Peeps

I wanted to let people up in P-town (or anywhere for that matter) know about a run that is happening up in Forest Park on May 28th. This is a run put on by Pacific Coast Trail Runs. The run that I did at Angel island was with these folks, and it was a lot of fun. I highly recommend if you can, go join in on the fun! I thought that I would come up for it, but I think that I may have a conflict in my schedule now... We'll see.

Time to go sneak a run in while the sun is out... cross your fingers that it stays out!

Done!!!

Done!!!,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

Well, I am back in Vallejo today. I finished my first stint in the world of Southern Sole. My body is a little beat up and I am looking forward to a few recovery days, but I am excited for what we got done the past week. Now it is time to get a few things done around home before I head back for round two.

Chippin Away

Chippin Away,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

No time to write much... It is my last full day here and there is lots to do. We are seeing some progress though. I did get another run in on Saturday... Shawn needs to get his shoes in... mine are officially done!

Power!!!

Power!!!,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

We finally got power today... barely. No storm yet, we'll see if all the predictions were false. Although I think they got nailed north of here. Have a great weekend everyone!

Run Over... (100th post)

Yeah, beginning to feel like I have been run over by a bus... my body hasn't quite adjusted to time change, manuel labor, 14 hour days... ouch! Oh well, it is good for me. I live far to comfortably most of the time. Last night was a surreal experience. We were working a long day (6:30am start time), and as the evening was rolling around the street became increasingly more lively. The store front is right on "the strip", a block of the campus and where everyone heads out to for their evening activities. The sidewalk became a runway for all of the pretty people (and there was no shortage of them). Mind you they mostly all look the same... but in this case that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. However, it did provide a stark contrast to our little crew working in the dirt and dust of the store. The south does know how to strut their stuff, and it was fun to just take it all in (ridiculous as it all appears). The next few nights will be no different (although a big storm is coming in... I am sure that will change the seen a bit). We still have no power, but after jumping through one more hoop (and another $20) hopefully that will happen today. Progress is beginning to be visible, but there is still so much to do. This process is a good next step for my business start-up skills, and I am looking forward to adding a few new tools to my bag of tricks. Hope you are all well in whatever you are up to.