Good Run

I am happy to say that tonight I had a good run. I waited till it was cooler, I had just got down pluggin away at my computer, and I forgot my watch... It was just me, the deer, the field and trees... awwwwww. Nice. I had been looking for that run where I felt better after the run than when I started. I got that tonight. I have been setting many of my runs up to fail, but tonight it clicked... for that I am thankful.

Lots to do, so I am off to shower and get back to work.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 10 miles

Run... sorta

Well, there was some running in there... I waited til later in the day (it has been so nice here), but I didn't drink much water during the day, it was warmer than I thought, and I was just plain tired. I was hoping the run would pick me up... ummm, not so much. I walked a good chunk, laid down on a bench in the shade and shut my eyes for awhile, walked some more... and then ran the rest of the way back to Chad's apartment. I actually saw Chad when I was heading back (he was out for a walk), I told him I was glad I ran into him while actually running... instead of him walking by me napping on the bench ;-)

Today: Lets call it 4 "all-purpose junk" miles
Week: 7 miles

Finally

Finally getting recovered from my trip... yesterday was a little rough. Not sure what the deal was, maybe allergies, maybe just my body saying, "chill out dude". So, lots of time just laying around doing nothing. Today I feel much better. It also helped to start the day off with a run.

Telling stories about the drive seems a little pointless now... but a few of the highlights (or low lights)... I ended up having to stop before getting all the way to Denver as I was hoping. I new that I needed to do that after a giant boulder hit my windshield (and instantly started cracking it), I started to get sleepy around 7pm after my 3:45am wake up (my brother didn't believe it would happen), and then I ran over a little bunny rabbit... that was the hare that broke the camels back. Oh, and then there was running my gas tank down to less than half a gallon of gas in the middle of Wyoming... yeah, I needed to stop driving. I am happy to say that the next day was much better. I had an excellent visit in Denver, and then the next day it was another full days drive to Iowa.

Now it is time to go to work... I will post more on that soon. Happy Monday to all!!!

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Road Note 3

Ok, finally made it to Iowa... whew!!! Had a meeting... had a dinner meeting... and then Chad kept me up too late talking about fun ideas ;-) So, my big update is postponed yet again, but I am here safe and sound (mom ;-) I will get a good update done tomorrow when I can see straight again, and am a little less loopy. Ahhhh... sleep!!!

Road Note

Made it to Denver... Yippee... will get an actual post going later tonight.

On second thought... too tired, another early departure tomorrow... I will write about the whole trip when I arrive in Iowa. There is good stuff too: rocks, a bunny... poor bunny, early mornings, gas rationing, mcdonalds dvds, friends, grinders, good meals, worlds problems being solved... this trip has it all!!!

Road Note

Just a quick note to say hello from the road... in the Salt Lake area... but not for long...

Good Bye and Fly...

So this is my first flight post "latest threat of terror. So, I got here a bit early... as I figured, I breezed through. Now I sit. At least PDX has free wi-fi (as it should be at airports)... not to mention lots of good eats and shopping if you wish.

My brief NW trip was good. I needed to come up for the memorial service, I needed that closure. It is hard to lose someone who you thought your would get to know better, and see grow into herself. I was sad for all the things that she wouldn't get to do for the world (and she would have done so much, and did so much in her short life). However, at the memorial service listening to all the stories about her (like when she brought a stranger she befriended home to feed them and help them out) I realized that the many people she touched (and there were a lot of people there) would carry a little piece of her out into the world. She in a sense would send us all out to do the work she would have tried to do. Of course we will go about it in our own ways, but you could not help walk from that service without a little more resolve to make the world a better place.

Rebecca, I will do my best to hold up my end of that... thank you for the passion that you put into your short time with us. You are loved and missed.

SOS

SOS,
originally uploaded by Miss Aniela.

I woke up this morning and found this picture from one of my Flickr contacts... Before even reading the caption I felt a connection to it. Sort of like, "oh yeah, I am not the only one out there feeling this way." It also reminded me of the many tools that I have to express how I feel in those dark places (as done so beautifully here by Miss Aniela). I can find my medication in many forms: friends, art, music, running, nature... that is the amazing part of the cycle... finding those things in contrast to the darkness. How sweet are the kind words of a friend, or the gentle sounds of my guitar, or the sweet breezes of an aging summer... so this morning, as I turn the page... I am thankful for those things.

Crappy

I would say that I have been lazy the past couple of days... but it isn't that... I have been crappy. It is the times when I need to run the most that it is the hardest to make it happen. I have said before that running is self medicating for me. However, that sometimes backfires when the depression pushes the medication aside. It ends up being a bad cycle. It is a cycle that I am tired of, but that is the kicker... that just makes me feel more depressed... and thus deeper into the cycle I go. I am not sitting here feeling sorry for myself (or maybe I am), I am just... I don't even know.

Tomorrow I am driving up to Portland for a memorial service for a girl (a soon to be senior in high-school) that was at the camp that I was counseling at a month ago. She was a girl that was struggling through a lot of stuff, and that I felt I would get to watch work through that stuff to blossom into a beautiful treasure of experience. An accident on the river ended that. Death now rubs wounds raw for me. It puts me right back into a fog of questioning everything that I see around me. I feel like this is my first opportunity to use what I have been through to help others, but I am having trouble seeing my own strength to do that. I thought this week would be about "rockin-and-rollin" in preparation for new ventures in my life... instead I have been back putting my energy into getting out of bed in the morning and putting one foot in front of the other. I miss my Dad.

It will be good to go to the service and find some closure on this... so, I know that this week has been about processing for me. However, I guess that doesn't make it easier. I suppose I had some hope that since I worked really hard on my stuff, and felt like I had made a lot of progress... that I wouldn't so easily get pushed back into dark places. However, I also have come to understand that in part, that is just me... that with getting pushed down there, I also have the ability to bounce back just as quickly. It is all part of my equipment. So, even as I write this, it is with some faith that by following this path through... I will come out the other end as needed. That is the beauty of hope (and why it is so dangerous to loose it). I hope that your weekends treat you well... in what ever your life circumstances might be.

Busy Day

It was a full day... trying to get as much done as I can before the next trip. However, I did manage to squeeze a run in. Pushed it a bit harder than my last few runs, but that was good I think. It is good to go past comfortable every once in a while. Had a strange little pain in my left ankle (about the only thing of note).

Today: 3 miles
Week: 8 miles

V-town

I was really dreading my first run back in Vallejo... it was so nice to be in the trees, and on endless dirt. However, I am happy to report that it wasn't too bad. It was still V-town, as I walked out my door there were three police cars (and a motorcycle), and they were taking pictures of this van in the middle of the street. Yeah... I have no idea what was going on... and frankly I probably didn't want to know. Perhaps it was another Bus incident. Whatever.

Today: 5 miles
Week: 5 miles

Smokey Sunset

Smokey Sunset,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

This is a picture of the river I have been running along... I need to get a shot of the trail, but this gives you an idea of the terrible conditions that I have been running in.

I struggled, and had to do some convincing of myself... but I got my 5 in. It is always nice to come out on the winning side of one of those battles with yourself. Although... I feel more tired than I should be. I think it is partly due to the multiple days in a row of running (also a switching from really humid/sea-level, to very dry/elevation). Anyway, it was a good solid week for my running... now I just have to keep it going.

Today: 5 miles
Week: 16 miles

Three in a Row

It has been awhile since I have done three days of running in a row... feels good. The running isn't quite smooth yet, but this is the only way to change that. Tomorrow I am going to shoot for 5+, which would be the longest run in sometime.

Today: 4 miles
Week: 11 miles

If Only...

If only I could always walk out my door... and within less than a mile be on dirt trails, wondering through trees, along rivers with mountain views... well, I will enjoy it while I have it. A good "life" thing to practice... enjoying what I have when I have it, rather than focusing on what is not there (past or present).

Today: 4 miles
Week: 7 miles

The Dry Mountain Version

Well, I am happy to say I am now at my next stop on the travel train... Sun River, OR. It is sort of like the "dry mountain version" of what I was doing last week. Yeah, my life is a little ridiculous at the moment. So, one short day at home (and I will speak about that later), and today was driving up to central Oregon. Upon arrival I changed into my running clothes, got my shoes on... and hit the trails. It is nice to get out into some dry mountain air that cools down as the sun sets. I will get some pictures as soon as I can. Time for dinner...

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Relax...

Ship coming in...,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

So this is the view from the porch of our condo... we actually went out on that boat snorkeling a couple of days ago (if you want to see the pix and are not on flickr yet, let me know and I will send you an invite). It will be a bit rough leaving my morning routine of coffee out on the porch with this to look at. Finally got a run in this morning. Just my usual 3. I wanted to go farther, but ended up doing a loop that ended right at 3 so... thats how it went. I think I am going to go get some swimming in too. Anyway, this has been good for me... just trying to be present to relaxing and soaking it all in.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles... and a bunch walking miles!

Random

The place where I am staying during the wedding festivities came about in sort of a random way... the father of the groom had reserved a condo for some family, and then plans changed and the condo was no longer needed. So, we (me and some others) ended up in a condo by "fill in". Now for the random part... as I was saying yesterday, this trip has got me thinking about the last time I was here with my Dad. To help that process along, we are staying in the same condo complex that we stayed in the last time I was here... a little strange. My brother and I were joking about it being the same place while driving towards it... and then laughing that it had the same paint color... and then got inside and started looking at the layout and view and yup... pretty sure it is the same darn spot. To funny. It is a beautiful place and I will get some pics up soon.

This is how to work...

This is how to work...,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

I really didn't want to bring the computer, but I suppose if you have to do some work... this is how it should be done. Tried to use today to sort of just catch my breath. I am staying in a funky little Hostel , and I randomly ran into friends (also here for the wedding... good eyes roomie). The last few hours have been spent sitting on the rocks watching the ocean, playing guitar, letting my internal dialogue ramble away. The last time I was here was with my Dad, in high school (that was a while ago). Plenty of thoughts of that trip have floated through... good thoughts, but it can't help numb the joy of this adventure a bit. However, I think that is why today was good. A day to let those thoughts be what they need to be, and I feel very comfortable that this will allow me to truly soak up the beauty of the rest of the week.