Wow, 200 posts and about a month away from a year on this blog. It is hard to believe. In the next month I look forward to back tracking a little bit... reading over some of the early posts, and soaking it in. It was around this time last year that the damn started to show signs of stress. There were already small leaks, and the pressure of the pain and grief was beginning to punch holes in my wall. I can look back and see that now, but at the time I really had no idea how damaged I was. Well, perhaps I did, but chose to deal with it in poor ways... such as sticking fingers in holes... rather than punching more holes for the pressure to ease. That is what running did for me over the past 200 posts, but it was also the action of writing about it. That allowed much of that pressure to be released in a healthy way. Knowing that there was a handful of people on the other side that cared enough about that process to check in and read it every once in awhile... means more than you will ever know.
I now can see that I am in the process of taking down the damn all together. Time to let my life flow in a natural way... no longer damned up by grief and fear. Sometimes I wish to just blow it up and let the flood wash everything new, but I think there is also something to be said for taking it apart piece by piece. Allowing my life to adjust with the process, and perhaps understanding why the damn was built in the first place. I know that I am not the last person that is going to go through troubled times of grief... I want to be able to recognize when someone is at that bursting point. And then have the strength and understanding to support them as they let the waters break through the walls they have built. We all have those walls. Grief comes in many forms and from many areas of our life. Just watch the evening news... you can't help but absorb some grief of the world. That gets carried around. Being rejected by a loved one or loss in any form can cause grief, and that grief in itself is not evil. However, our society at the moment does a very poor job of giving people the tools to work through that grief. Thus, we have a world walking in grief. For those of you reading this... please know that I am committing myself to walk with that world, and give support in what ever way is called upon of my talents and skills.
Thank you for walking with me.
Today: 0 miles (so far)
Week: 10 miles (got 4 in yesterday)
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3 comments:
Thank you for allowing me to walk with you.
I look forward to many more years of walking; sometimes side by side and other times one of us taking the lead.
Happy 200!
It's been quite a year of growth for you. Thanks for taking us on your journey, you'll never know how many hearts you've touched.
oohh, and...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MILAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wishing you a delightful day, don't freeze your buns off on your birthday run.
Love, Skip & Gasr
Congrats on the milestone, I wanted to let you know I've been reading most of your posts and I'm glad to read about the progress being made, hope that continues.
On another note, I made a trip back to Lamoni for the HAAC cross meet. It was my first trip back since last May. Not much has changed there, except for the people. It was a fun trip with the younger guys I knew, but it was completely different without all the guys we used to have there. I honestly thought about taking a short stroll around mile repeat road just to bring back some old memories. There were quite a few, considering we spent a good amount of time on that road.
I also drove by the Linden St. Coffee House and started wondering what you were up to now. I hope all is well, and keep posting so we know what's goin on.
Tom
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