Training

Well, I have been training... but haven't got a run in for some time. I have been coffee training... Next week I will be competing in the Midwest Regional Barista Competition in Kansas City. It has been awhile since I have been in this position. I mean I have done a couple of organized runs (not really races) in the past year, but nothing like a real competition. Nothing where I put myself out there. I always said that if I jumped in one of these Barista competitions, that I would do so when I was ready to win... being that I have really only had about 3 weeks to prepare for this... my expectations are a little different. However, I will still go into it wanting to win.

When I decided I was going to do this competition (right before leaving the midwest for the holiday), I had this rush of excitement... like I used to when I would dream about a conference meet or something. It was strange how almost foreign that feeling had become (as is the nervous butterflies in my stomach now ;-) The past 4 years or so I became so closed off that there was no room for that type of emotion. I wasn't able to really care about anything all that much. Not to say that winning a Barista competition is of the utmost importance now, but I am willing to say I want to win... and it will be a very public statement. Micah is Alive ;-) It will draw a good bit of attention to Shaky Tree, and really be the kick off to a year of putting myself out there. This is both exciting... and terrifying. There is still the part of me that has been buried for years that is sensitive to being "out there", and wants very badly to go right back into the cave. Each day it seems I can feel more and more input coming in... some I recognize, some I have no idea what to do with. The grey area between wading through deep grief, and being a functional liver (and lover) of life is a bit more pronounced than I anticipated. I guess I always thought there would be grief and sadness, and then bam... something else. I feel like this competition is a big step towards the tipping point. That is an exciting prospect. One of the next steps will be that darn marathon I have been talking about. One step at a time... with lots of breathing in between.