Grief has done a lot to dampen my fire... or perhaps simply internalize it. I created this tattoo as a symbol of both my fiery passion, and my quiet calm nature. Both are a part of me. I can see both as useful tools to express myself along my path. However, I have often found it difficult to understand the balance necessary to utilize both the "sun" and the "moon" to their potential in my life. Too many times have I flashed anger when patience was needed, or waited quietly when a bit of flame could have lit the fuse of efficient action. The fog of grief has turned my fire inward... burning in my veins... unable to find the proper outlets for a number of years now. Tonight I remembered how running (and other sports) used to be a wonderful place to plug in, and gain understanding of how to use my fire.
I woke up with a very sore neck (slept wrong... and with all the driving my back is a mess). I was not looking forward to my run, because it was painful to move my body much at all. However, I wanted to get into the double digits for the week's mileage... so it had to be done. I got out there just wanting to get a couple miles in, mostly to say I did it. I ended up pounding out 3 quick miles... pushing harder than I had in a very long time. I felt a rhythm that I had forgotten, and a burn that I remembered all too well. I wanted to shy away... let it dampen down, but I didn't. I fueled it (if only briefly). I let my instincts lift my legs, settle into my stride, expand my lungs. Balance. It was beautiful, and I think I will search it out again.
Today: 3 miles
Week: 12 miles
This is an attempt to use my community (near and far) to help on my journey to get both my body and soul back in shape. It is a running journal, and a record of how that often parallels the walk of my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment