Cobwebs

Is that how you spell cobwebs? I guess so... anyway, I blew a few cobwebs out today and got past my "travel tightness" (perhaps that is why I am always traveling... so I can blame it on traveling and not on getting old and out of shape). At any rate, it was a nice (quick) three miles this evening. The crisp Spring air coaxed me into pace that was an obvious change from the past few days, and it felt good. I can feel some strength starting to creep back in... that little voice returning that says, "I like this..." (it has been a while since running has felt like something that was a "good" thing).

Today: 3 miles
Week: 6+ miles

Good Start

A good start to the week... 3+ miles running... with a mile or so of walking to finish it off (just cause it was so nice out).

Today: 3+ miles
Week: 3+ miles

(edit): as an add on (I had to write this post quickly sunday)... I have to partially credit Noah Earle with helping get me out the door on this day. We had the musician for a rare afternoon Sunday show at Shaky Tree, and we got to talking about running. After the good talk, I figured I had no choice but to get out and get one done... I was glad I did. And if you get the chance to check out Noah's music... I highly suggest it!!!

Better.

I felt better yesterday. I still had to slow up a few times and force a shortened stride, but it didn't alter my run too much. Even though my running hasn't gone "smoothly" this week... I can feel a change in my attitude towards it (and maybe towards myself in general). I think that I have turned a corner, being able to see it for the tool that it is in my life right now... rather than judging it compared to what it has been in my past. Growth. Spring is good for that.

Yesterday: 3+ miles
Week: Growth

Two for Two

I am now two for two this week on runs that I can't really count as runs. I got out the door again today, and I actually felt pretty good, but... I am back in Iowa, the weather was beautiful... I mean, perfect... and I got a lot done today (that gave a little mental boost). I was ready to rock that run. Unfortunately I didn't think too much about my travel day, or how that might of effected my body. So I got a little rambunctious. I am getting to the point where I can actually have moments of feeling pretty good during my run (especially early on). It is sort of like my body is remembering how it works, but obviously not enough to say, "hey buddy... slow down so we can get loosened up and make it through this whole run!"

And so... I did not make it through the whole run. My knee started yelling, and I had to walk. This was not all bad, because it was such a beautiful evening to "walk" and watch the sunset. However, I was a little frustrated that I wasn't smarter (and kinder) with my body. I guess that is partly why I am keeping this blog... it is now written down, and hopefully I will learn enough to do better tomorrow.

Today: A few miles running, and some walking
Week: Some running... some walking

Something...

is better than nothing... that was my approach to running today. I have managed to keep working on the early mornings (at least the idea of changing old patterns... "early" is relative you know). However, I can't say that it has been a huge boost to my mental state. I am not sure why, but I have been pretty sluggish this past week (mentally and physically). I know part of it is the stress of life changes and not feeling very connected to much of anything... I'm coming up on 3 years of constant movement (haven't been in one place for longer than 3 months for over 2 years), and the lack of being rooted has taken its toll. These are just guesses and things I have been thinking about... so, I figured I would write them down to take note.

I also think allergies have been draggin me down a bit... bleh!

Anyway... I managed to get the shoes on and at least start today... I didn't go far, but I didn't really care. My body (and/or mind) is not "right", and until it feels a bit more "normal"... I will cut it some slack.

Today: I ran.
Week: Hopefully I will do it again.

Morning Person...

Perhaps I will become a "morning person"... ok, now all of you who know me can get back up into your seats and compose yourself. Yes... I said it, the word "morning" in reference to myself, and not in the context of sleeping well into it. This week I have found myself up before 7 a.m... 4 out of 5 mornings. This is normal for some, and I have had working stretches of being up well before the sun for weeks on end (or never-ending as it often felt). However this week it was all on my own accord (with a little help from that pesky Brother... who certainly IS a morning person), and dare I say... I have enjoyed it. I have also been quite productive with this time, and feel a certain sense of reinventing myself by doing so.

I have had times in my life when I thought about making a change to really solidify a shift in my... lets say, "existence". You know, one of those times where you just know you need to change the dynamic of your world (perhaps inner, outer or both). Sometimes I cut my hair... or let it grow... or change locations (perhaps repeatedly every few weeks), jobs, start running/stop running... lots of things. This is where I am. The kind of shift where I want to create a different way of looking at the world (and maybe change the way the world looks at me). Changing a very ingrained pattern in my life (one that is often used to partially define me) is a pretty dramatic way to do that. It is also a pattern that has existed as a constant over all the types of changes that I listed above... thus giving it a different weight.

I have done a lot of processing and growing through this blog, and the past few years of dealing with my grief has been a great teacher. Yet... I haven't felt the shift of breaking free of that classroom... rarely taking ownership of what I have learned. This has left me frustrated. I have been waiting for the shift to happen to me, rather than creating the shift with my action. Knowledge is not worth much in the classroom... only when we leave that space and put it into action do we see the level of our understanding (and usually see we have a ways to go... which is actually the fun part). Not to say we never return to the classroom... but the trick is knowing when you are stuck there. And then the task becomes finding your way out.

I am going to see if this "early morning" door is my way out... out into a world that I know needs my full participation, rather than just the parts of me that get past my self-conscience fears. Can't say that it is going to be the only door for me, but it certainly will be potent statement that I am working on it. Today... it was a beautiful morning outside the classroom.

Today: 3 (early morning) miles
Week: 3 miles (plus 6 miles hiking)

Hikin

Wildcat Camp
Originally uploaded by TreeBed

No run for a few days... ok, a week. I traveled back to CA, and then got caught up doing "catch up" stuff around the house. I also knew that I would be getting several days of hiking in on the weekend... of which I would need everything my body had to offer.

So, Friday was a nice an easy 2 miles in... Saturday was a solid 10 miles, which featured a wonderful little uphill section (yeah)... and Sunday was about 6 or so out (again with the hills... straight up from where that yellow is... ouch).

My body definitely feels it (I am pretty sore today)... but I am also happy to report that I could feel the miles that I have been running... working for me. I had some good conversations with Skippy and GASR about running, training and thinking about some future races (toying with the idea of a triathlon). All in all it was a great weekend, and despite a bit of "body breakdown"... it was good for my motivation to keep moving these small steps forward.