I REALLY didn't want to bother with a run this morning... I am heading out (back to CA) today and I just didn't feel like messing with one more thing. However, just for that reason... I figured I better go ahead and do it. I take this morning's decision as a good sign. I so often chose the opposite, that my running (or anything requiring a habit forming discipline) never got off the ground. So, I bid farewell to Indianapolis... you have treated me pretty well in this new beginning.
On to some California running... we'll see how that treats me. Although regardless, it will be nice to sleep in my own bed (it has been awhile), and see people I love and miss.
Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles
Monday, April 28, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Fire.
Grief has done a lot to dampen my fire... or perhaps simply internalize it. I created this tattoo as a symbol of both my fiery passion, and my quiet calm nature. Both are a part of me. I can see both as useful tools to express myself along my path. However, I have often found it difficult to understand the balance necessary to utilize both the "sun" and the "moon" to their potential in my life. Too many times have I flashed anger when patience was needed, or waited quietly when a bit of flame could have lit the fuse of efficient action. The fog of grief has turned my fire inward... burning in my veins... unable to find the proper outlets for a number of years now. Tonight I remembered how running (and other sports) used to be a wonderful place to plug in, and gain understanding of how to use my fire.
I woke up with a very sore neck (slept wrong... and with all the driving my back is a mess). I was not looking forward to my run, because it was painful to move my body much at all. However, I wanted to get into the double digits for the week's mileage... so it had to be done. I got out there just wanting to get a couple miles in, mostly to say I did it. I ended up pounding out 3 quick miles... pushing harder than I had in a very long time. I felt a rhythm that I had forgotten, and a burn that I remembered all too well. I wanted to shy away... let it dampen down, but I didn't. I fueled it (if only briefly). I let my instincts lift my legs, settle into my stride, expand my lungs. Balance. It was beautiful, and I think I will search it out again.
Today: 3 miles
Week: 12 miles
I woke up with a very sore neck (slept wrong... and with all the driving my back is a mess). I was not looking forward to my run, because it was painful to move my body much at all. However, I wanted to get into the double digits for the week's mileage... so it had to be done. I got out there just wanting to get a couple miles in, mostly to say I did it. I ended up pounding out 3 quick miles... pushing harder than I had in a very long time. I felt a rhythm that I had forgotten, and a burn that I remembered all too well. I wanted to shy away... let it dampen down, but I didn't. I fueled it (if only briefly). I let my instincts lift my legs, settle into my stride, expand my lungs. Balance. It was beautiful, and I think I will search it out again.
Today: 3 miles
Week: 12 miles
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Love. The. Trails.
Yup... got back out on the trails in Greencastle... with a thunderstorm approaching and the crunching rhythm of limestone underfoot, it was pretty sweet. Strange how a run can often highlight so much of what is going on in your life...
Today: 3 miles
Week: 9 miles
Today: 3 miles
Week: 9 miles
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Small Steps & the Boston Marathon
Yesterdays run was short, due to a road weary body... I drove to Indiana to surprise someone special (which worked out very well). So, the plan was to get a longer run in today after loosening up a bit yesterday. It was a morning run (not always a strong suite of mine) and the weather was already warm and pleasant. Indianapolis has a nice city park along the White River and I managed to find my way to a trail between the river and the zoo. The trees are blooming and the air is warming up to the idea of Spring. However, my body was tired... I haven't done runs on consecutive days for quite some time, and I could feel the stress of my first attempt at it. All of this added up to a decision, press through... or give up. I have been "giving up" a lot lately.
Today I did my best to press through. I carried with me the inspiration of a fellow runner... Tom Nichols, Graceland alum, and top 50 finisher at the Boston Marathon 2008. Tom is not only a great guy (generally speaking), he is a perfect example of how hard work and perseverance can put the pieces together to achieve greatness. This is one of the things that I love most about running as a sport. It is why running proves to be such a potent metaphor and parallel for much of what goes on in my life... because it is rarely about the short term, and almost always judged in some sort of long term perspective. There are many collegiate runners (in any division) that would have beaten Tom during our college days... most of them will NEVER run 2:29 at Boston. Tom is an example of sticking to a way of life... making running a "part of who you are" to achieve... and this past weekend it all came together into one GREAT race. Congrats to Tom, and thanks for inspiring me to squeeze an extra mile out of my run today. I am on my way with "small" steps, and thankful for all the help I can get.
Today: 3+ miles (over 30min with a short break to watch some turtles)
Week: 6 miles
Today I did my best to press through. I carried with me the inspiration of a fellow runner... Tom Nichols, Graceland alum, and top 50 finisher at the Boston Marathon 2008. Tom is not only a great guy (generally speaking), he is a perfect example of how hard work and perseverance can put the pieces together to achieve greatness. This is one of the things that I love most about running as a sport. It is why running proves to be such a potent metaphor and parallel for much of what goes on in my life... because it is rarely about the short term, and almost always judged in some sort of long term perspective. There are many collegiate runners (in any division) that would have beaten Tom during our college days... most of them will NEVER run 2:29 at Boston. Tom is an example of sticking to a way of life... making running a "part of who you are" to achieve... and this past weekend it all came together into one GREAT race. Congrats to Tom, and thanks for inspiring me to squeeze an extra mile out of my run today. I am on my way with "small" steps, and thankful for all the help I can get.
Today: 3+ miles (over 30min with a short break to watch some turtles)
Week: 6 miles
Monday, April 21, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Rainy
It was rainy and cold... I ran... It was done.
Actually that is not true. During my run, for a few brief moments... I just let myself enjoy it. Even though it was nasty out, and my goal for the run was to get it done... I realized, "hey, I better be present to this... even for just a few steps". This had quite an effect on the rest of my run. Something I need to remember in much of what I do.
Yesterday: 3 miles
Week: 8 miles (I might break double digits this week...)
Actually that is not true. During my run, for a few brief moments... I just let myself enjoy it. Even though it was nasty out, and my goal for the run was to get it done... I realized, "hey, I better be present to this... even for just a few steps". This had quite an effect on the rest of my run. Something I need to remember in much of what I do.
Yesterday: 3 miles
Week: 8 miles (I might break double digits this week...)
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
After Run
I am not a fan of the wind... And I wasn't really looking forward to running in it (especially since it was spoiling a really beautiful day). However, on the positive side, it did dry out the land enough to hit the trails.
Thank you wind.
Today: 2+ miles
Week: 5 miles
Thank you wind.
Today: 2+ miles
Week: 5 miles
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Defeat, but not Defeated
Yesterday I had what felt like my first mental defeat in this short stretch of running. The weather wasn't great... well, lets be honest it was CRAP!!! Snow in April is not my friend. However, I was determined that I was still going to get out for my run... I didn't. I just couldn't face it. This winter has been tragically long, and I am left without much energy to fight it. So, I didn't.
The good news is... today I woke up to sunshine and bright blue skies (even if there was a stiff North wind). Warmer weather is in the forecast, and I headed out the door knowing I could make this a great week. Today's run was ugly. I mean, there was nothing pretty about it (complete with windswept spit across the shirt)... but I did it with a "workman" like attitude that I have needed in order to string enough runs together to actually say that I am running again. I want to make this the week I move from "just getting out the door"... to beginning a path to go somewhere I want to go. More about that later...
Speaking of getting where I want to go... I also started my Spring cleaning today. This Winter has been a rough one. A lot of things have been buried, and left unattended. Time to shake out the dust... stir things up. I am ready to look at what survived the harsh Winter. Today I did see the green of the grass returning, that is a good sign. In spite of all the Winter could throw at us, the grass has reawakened... ready to grow once again. And so shall I.
Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles
The good news is... today I woke up to sunshine and bright blue skies (even if there was a stiff North wind). Warmer weather is in the forecast, and I headed out the door knowing I could make this a great week. Today's run was ugly. I mean, there was nothing pretty about it (complete with windswept spit across the shirt)... but I did it with a "workman" like attitude that I have needed in order to string enough runs together to actually say that I am running again. I want to make this the week I move from "just getting out the door"... to beginning a path to go somewhere I want to go. More about that later...
Speaking of getting where I want to go... I also started my Spring cleaning today. This Winter has been a rough one. A lot of things have been buried, and left unattended. Time to shake out the dust... stir things up. I am ready to look at what survived the harsh Winter. Today I did see the green of the grass returning, that is a good sign. In spite of all the Winter could throw at us, the grass has reawakened... ready to grow once again. And so shall I.
Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Two for One
I didn't get a chance to post about my run on Monday, but it was great!!! The weather was perfect as the sun was setting, and the people of Indianapolis were out in full force enjoying it. I managed to find the "canal walk" which provided a nice spot for the first half of my run (the other half being downtown-urban)... it wasn't wooded trails, but certainly was fun people watching. Something else was present on this run, and I am not sure I have put my finger on it yet. However, I felt stronger than I have felt on a run in long time, and with that came a mental shift. I am not sure what will come of it, but I wanted to make note of it. The other thing that this run brought was finally getting 3-pain-free miles out of a run... oh yeah!!!
Today's run was not as inspiring. Although it was a bit quicker pace than normal, and that felt kind of good. It was quicker in part, because I am back in Iowa and it is colder (I wanted to warm up). I also think that the pace was a good (along with Monday's run) indicator that I am making progress. Nice...
Today: 2 (quick) miles
Week: 5+ miles
Today's run was not as inspiring. Although it was a bit quicker pace than normal, and that felt kind of good. It was quicker in part, because I am back in Iowa and it is colder (I wanted to warm up). I also think that the pace was a good (along with Monday's run) indicator that I am making progress. Nice...
Today: 2 (quick) miles
Week: 5+ miles
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Parking Lots...
Well, if yesterday was running bliss, on the wooded trails of Indiana... Saturday was the opposite. Today I ran from our hotel in Lafayette, across the parking lots and back lot fields of the main strip... taking in the invasive smells of fast food and car exhaust. However, the beautiful warm Spring sun faded out the lackluster backdrop, and it was still a pleasant (yet again short) run.
The terrain did have the positive effect of keeping things on the slow side, and this helped make it a relatively pain free run.
I have been thinking a great deal about how impatient I have been since the loss of my father. I didn't post anything this year on the passing of my Dads birthday (March 28)... However, I did write a bit here, and I think the thoughts show a parallel again on my path of running and grief. Through the process of losing my father I gained new insights about this world (and my own place in it), but it also brought a sense of helpless-urgency that is often difficult to tame. I tend to lose sight of the importance of steady progress, and more importantly... the freedom of being able to enjoy that process. When I set out to get in shape a few years ago (the beginningof this blog) I merely wanted to get back to someplace (regain a footing). I was able to use running as a tool to help me do that, but I had problems sustaining it. I lacked a certain discipline to continue building, and was missing an element of my own curiosity to see what each run would bring (both physically and mentally). For most of my life, running (like many things) was simply part of the routine, something I felt I needed to do (rarely exploring why). The last few months I have found myself struggling... sinking into many of the dark (and all to familiar) places... I often call this Unattended Sorrow. As Spring awakens the landscape, I am hoping to awaken my own understanding of the tools at my disposal. Running is one of those tools I will use to remind me of the ongoing processes of my fitness, and my life... Small steps, adding up to an ongoing path that is me.
Today: 2+ miles
Week: 5 miles
The terrain did have the positive effect of keeping things on the slow side, and this helped make it a relatively pain free run.
I have been thinking a great deal about how impatient I have been since the loss of my father. I didn't post anything this year on the passing of my Dads birthday (March 28)... However, I did write a bit here, and I think the thoughts show a parallel again on my path of running and grief. Through the process of losing my father I gained new insights about this world (and my own place in it), but it also brought a sense of helpless-urgency that is often difficult to tame. I tend to lose sight of the importance of steady progress, and more importantly... the freedom of being able to enjoy that process. When I set out to get in shape a few years ago (the beginningof this blog) I merely wanted to get back to someplace (regain a footing). I was able to use running as a tool to help me do that, but I had problems sustaining it. I lacked a certain discipline to continue building, and was missing an element of my own curiosity to see what each run would bring (both physically and mentally). For most of my life, running (like many things) was simply part of the routine, something I felt I needed to do (rarely exploring why). The last few months I have found myself struggling... sinking into many of the dark (and all to familiar) places... I often call this Unattended Sorrow. As Spring awakens the landscape, I am hoping to awaken my own understanding of the tools at my disposal. Running is one of those tools I will use to remind me of the ongoing processes of my fitness, and my life... Small steps, adding up to an ongoing path that is me.
Today: 2+ miles
Week: 5 miles
Friday, April 04, 2008
Trails
I am back on the campaign trail (my lady-friend works for Mr. Obama), and I have found myself in Indiana... yesterday for my run that placed me specifically on the campus of DePauw University. My body is a bit of a mess because of travel (oh, and not running for almost 2 years solid doesn't help either). However, I managed to find a very lovely trail system at DePauw's nature preserve. A well maintained crushed limestone surface (my favorite) rolled along gentle hills and through the rock cliffs of an old quarry. This was a treat to run on, and it coaxed me into pushing a little harder than my old bones were ready for... so, the end of my run saw a painful left knee, and some walking. It also brought out an ominous group of buzzards that were perched high in the trees above the rock cliffs. I did my best to NOT look like scavengers' dessert... feeling the metaphor (or maybe they really were waiting for me to keel over) motivating my posture into at least "looking" strong.
All in all it was good to get out into near ideal running conditions... something that has been hard to come by in Spencer as I have begun to get back into shape. Hopefully Spring will greet me on my return to Iowa.
Thursday: 2+ miles
Week: 2+ miles
All in all it was good to get out into near ideal running conditions... something that has been hard to come by in Spencer as I have begun to get back into shape. Hopefully Spring will greet me on my return to Iowa.
Thursday: 2+ miles
Week: 2+ miles
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