Tuesday, January 03, 2006

A Walk...

So far today has been about walking... I am reading a book (may have mentioned it before) called Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine, and the chapter that I read today was about taking a walk with yourself. It seemed very fitting after what I wrote yesterday. What it was saying was to take a walk and let in all the information around you, open yourself up to your life and where you are at... sort of like a moving meditation. It is hard. It is hard not to focus on where you are going, or that you should get out of the rain, or that homeless guy asking for change... it is hard not to get lost in those things or the flip side to just ignore them. But the goal being to remain right in the middle. Aware that those things are part of your walk, but so is the sensation of your feet making contact with the ground, and your breathing, and the tightness in your stomach (that is one of mine). (I will have to finish this later... parking meter is out of time... to be continued)

Ok, part two... well, I guess the bottom line is that I am need of practice. I need to see ALL that input as part of my life, good & bad. And as I bring up my awareness of the world around me, I will begin to see the balance once again... instead of just the pain and sorrow that I am often swamped in now. I have these small glimpses that put it all in perspective, and I want sooo badly to hang on to those moments. However, they are just moments, not unlike the "moments" of confusion, fear and hoplessness. Someday those too will wash freely in and out of me...

Going for a night run later...

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