Lots of Possibilities...

Ahhh, the last night of my travels... I will be heading home tomorrow, and I look forward to being home for a bit. This was a good trip with lots of different things going on. Many different roads laid out in front of me. Tonight I took a road that had no end... I thought I would do a little loop around the lake, but the lake never ended. Luckily it didn't end up being to much longer than I was shooting for, and it was good for me to get an extra mile in. It was a perfect night for running. A good end to my journeys.

Today: 4+ miles
Week: 4+ miles

Got to Love it...

Well, maybe... Good ole Iowa. Run one day and it is hot as hell, the next there is a wind chill that makes it feel 40 degrees. My poor body wasn't quite sure what to think. Only went for a short 3, but it felt pretty good (other than the monster freezing cold wind ;-) I have never been much for morning running, but it sure does feel good to start your day and have a run under your belt. I don't know that I had a choice... I woke up to country music blaring outside Chad apartment window. It is Flag Fest going on in Spencer, and today is the parade... great day for a parade.

Oh and Skippy, motivation was noted and taken into account this morning... we'll see what happens ;-)

Today: 3 miles
Week: 13 miles (double digits for the first time in a while)

run

Well, no excuses for yesterday... I did get a decent walk in (not the same, I know), to much crammed into the day. Today on the other hand, I am happy to report a solid 6 miler. I got to run through a park just outside of town, mowed trail through the tall grass, and much of it along a small river. It was warm, but a nice breeze kept it comfortable. No knee pain, and over all... a great run. It also was good to get out and let my mind spin a bit. Often a run will clarify messy thoughts. We'll see. Now I have earned my right to be tired... and I think it nap time.

Today: 6 miles
Week: 10 miles

Yummm...

Well, I must admit... I was feeling a bit sorry for myself the past day or so. Once again I left Alabama without finishing off what I set out to do. Part of this is somewhat unrealistic expectations of my learning curve with a totally new medium, but I also have to own up to this outcome being an all to common theme in my life. That was somewhat depressing. However, I am now in Omaha (getting ready to head to Spencer, IA), and I am feeling a bit better. I decided to take a little time to myself and eat in Omaha before the drive (in my sweet mini-van rental). I ended up at the Upstream Brewing. I was thinking just normal brew pub fare... but ended up going for a beautifully prepared rib-eye Omaha steak (with maytag blue-cheese butter & chives) over organic greens, and potato fingers. This was a great way to get back on track. I also had a pretty tasty IPA. So, if you find yourself in Omaha, check it out. Anyway, it is amazing how a good meal can change your world. I thought of many my favorite meals dinning with friends and family. Even though this meal was solo, I had all those memories to keep me company. Now it is on to the next project... time to gear up a bit... this could be the beginning of big things. I almost feel that this will be a major corner I am turning in my life. That is exciting. A little scary, but exciting. Got to get a run in tomorrow. No excuses.

A...T...L

Went to Atlanta for the first time yesterday... sat in major traffic (construction), had a tasty iced coffee from quite the trendy little coffee bar, did IKEA (complete with drama), ate dinner in Buckhead (oooh) and headed back to T-town. Whew!!! Today has been a solid day of work. I will get some pictures up tonight of progress. Just got a nice 4 miles in... a good start to a week of running (that is the goal anyway).

Today: 4 miles
Week: 4 miles

Run

Got my first run in a while in today. Tucked it into the fringe of a storm rolling in, and enjoyed a pleasant temp... and a beautiful rain. I was a little nervous on how I would feel. I have felt so crappy, but this run actually felt pretty good. As soon as I got out of the truck the humid air filled my nose and it smelled just like a summer run in Iowa. Normally that wouldn't have triggered "good" thoughts, but today... it made me think of times when I was in shape and rollin. That was a good way to start the run. I did my usual 4 miles (I let Beetle go crank a few on his own). However, afterwards I put a few strides in... this was almost magical (yes, that is a little corny, but true). I remembered strength, discipline and confidence I have not seen in a long time. I reconnected to all the strides I had put in after solid training runs, before races... I used them to build a conditioned response in my body. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that it is still there. This definitely got me ready to put together my next training plan, and get to work. I'm so tired of being wishy-washy in my life... I want to strive for a life "in the middle", but there are most certainly times when we need to be decisive. The trick is clearing your plate enough to trust your gut on when to do that, and what course to choose. I have been saying I would like to have one more shot at being in shape (decent enough shape to crank a bit and feel good), but I have not been putting energy towards sustaining focus on that goal. Mostly I have just blown it off... sometimes for good reason. However, this might be the time. So, I am going to get back to my 30 miles a week deal that I made myself... see how that feels... and make a clear plan of what I want to accomplish. Stay tuned...

Today: 4 miles
Week: 4 miles

Coming Together...

Coming Together...,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

It is looking pretty darn cool. Click on the picture and check it out.

Chewy Air

Well, I am happy to report that the South has met expectations finally for weather. It is hot, and the air is thick. I had quite the fun day getting here yesterday... First the commute and BART didn't cooperate in getting me to the airport on time. Yep, missed flight, but then I was put on another flight quickly... great, one plane to Birmingham... one plane that stopped in San Diego and then Kansas City, and then St. Louis and THEN Birmingham. And since we were running a bit late, there was no getting off the plane... which means, lots of peanuts as my meals for the day. If this sounds fun to you... please check yourself into a mental ward soon, you are NOT well. However, after a delicious Reuben and a couple of tasty IPAs... I was feeling much better.

Anyway, I was struggling to get my energy up for this trip... but now that I am here, I am ready to roll. Especially after seeing the store... it looks really good. I will get some pics up soon. Off to work...

A Good Start

A Good Start,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

This is the first round (well, there has been some go before this) of "stuff" that is moving on. I think this may start a landslide of material blah, blah, blah out my front door...

3am on the 30th...

Since my last post was at 3:33pm I figured since I was here... I had to at least write something. However, I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow, so it won't be much...

Holiday

So, it seems a bit strange to me that one of my most productive days (in terms of sitting at my desk and getting crap done) in a long time... has been on a day when most people are off of work. That is how it goes when your schedule has no rhyme or reason. I leave on Wednesday for Alabama, and so I have to get stuff done to feel ok about taking off again. Anyway, I hope that everyone has had a splendid Monday whether at work or out goofing off...

Letting Go...

I am taking a day to myself on this fine Sunday. However, as part of that I decided to jot down a few of my thoughts, and that happens to included who ever is reading this. So, welcome ;-) I am using today to sift through "stuff" and clean out that which no longer needs to be kept. I have talked about doing this on here before. The power of cleaning out and letting go... it can be a big job. It is a strange thing to inherit a house. Most people spend there lives working to buy a house and fill it up with "stuff" (usually to realize they don't need half of it)... my brother and I must do the opposite. Take a house full of "stuff" and whittle it down to what we need (and want). Some of this is easy. For example, today I am going through sheets... holy cow, we have enough sheets to open a decent sized hotel. Not too hard for me to toss old sheets into a bag for give away. However, when it comes to random things that remind me of my dad... that seems harder. As if I am giving up one more little piece of him (and can't bare the thought of losing anymore). Some of those things I end up keeping til the next round, and some I say good bye to. Perhaps if I come across one of these items from now on, I will write down a little memory that I get from the item and send it on its way. As I get more and more focused to live my own life, I realize the power in letting as much baggage go as possible. I am finding ways to keep close the spirit of my dad, and let go of the surface. This is something that I am working on applying to the whole of my life. If I could keep focused on the spirit of those around me, rather than their surface... I would have a LOT less to let go of... guess that is why it is called a journey.

I hope you find something beautiful in the spirit of your day...

Ahhhhhhhhhh

Ahhhhhhhhhh,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

Took a random trip up to Yosemite to get away... It is always good to get up there and re-focus. Being in the park puts my world in perspective. I think it is the size of everthing...puts all my little things into place. We had to get back to town to play a show (which is a good thing), but even a short trip to Yosemite is a good trip.

ReCharge

As you can see... not a whole lot in the postin department. I am backing off from as much as I can for a few days. Time to recharge a bit. I am hoping to get a few runs in next week to start back up, but it depends how I feel. I am however going to start a plan for getting in good enough shape to run a marathon next spring. So, a few days to ponder how I want to go about it, and then the journey will begin. Right now I am looking at the Napa Marathon, but we'll see. Anyway, anyone who wants to start training... we'll make it a Go Elvis! event. Maybe we can get TreeBed Design to design some singlets, and maybe we talk Southern Sole into getting involved. Speaking of which... we are making progress. Lots of uncontrolables getting in the way... leaky roofs, slow contractors and just lots to do in general. However, it looks like a mid June opening will be possible. Keep your fingers crossed... I head back in a about a week to put the finishing touches on my end (and help with any last minute craziness...) Send some good thoughts Beetle's way!!!

Gut

Gut,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

A little back tracking going on... Lessons being learned. Haven't had much time to write, but lots going on. Painting, grinding and all sorts of little random things getting done.

Back to it

On the road again... well, I suppose "In the Air" would be more appropriate. I am in Phoenix now heading towards Alabama. This is now starting to feel sort of familiar. "Wasn't I just here..." running through my mind. I am tired, but excited to be heading back. I am looking forward to finishing off some of the projects that I have going back there. The store should start looking like a store this time around. Hope everyone's weekend is going well.

Ummm...

Well, no 5 miles today... not because of lack of motivation, but decided that it was the best idea. I am feeling pretty lousy so I wanted to give my self some rest. So, hopefully I will get my feet underneath me soon. I will be off to Alabama again tomorrow for more fun in the south.

Even in Australia...

Today was one of those days... nothing seemed to work quite right, or at all ;-) I will spare you from the ugly details, and I really can't put my finger on why it was soooo crappy. It just seemed to be my turn. I did get a run in just now, and I feel a little better. Ok, that is a lie, but I suppose the day isn't over... it could turn around. Anyway, if I don't run 5 miles tomorrow... someone come out here and kick my butt!!!

Today:3 miles + (24 min)
Week: 6 miles +

Change of Pace

Today has been a nice mix of relaxing a bit after my adventures... and jumping right into the things that need to get done to continue those adventures. It feels like... well, my life. If that makes any sense. By that I mean, it feels like a natural extention of me, and the catch is... in a positive way (which has often been missing). I have spent much of the past year doing almost the exact same motions I am doing today. However, today I am doing them in a much more intentional way. I woke up with purpose. That can be a powerful thing.

At the moment I am in Berkeley eating lunch at one of my favorite sandwich places (Cafe Intermezzo). It is such an interesting contrast from being a couple of blocks off of University of Alabama's campus. I would love to pick up half the student body of each university and switch them... I wonder who would be the most frightened? The two campuses could possibly be polar opposites. I am glad though. In this current world of cookie cutter everything... where interchangeable suburbs are the norm (and even more sad is interchangeable downtown areas), it is good to see different areas of the country so unique in their population. It makes for interesting travels and I think a stronger fabric of our country.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Heading Home...

Before leaving Omaha I got to have lunch with two guys that are high on my list of hardworking, classy runners that I have run with and coached. It was a great way to cap off my trip... and I wish them luck tomorrow in their races tomorrow (I look forward to hearing how it goes). The idea of Boston 2008 was thrown out there... more on this later.

I am in PHX now, and heading out soon to finish this latest journey. It has been a very rich couple of weeks. I am looking forward to seeing the bay, and gearing up for the next round of adventures. Hope all your weekends are going well.

The Miser

Tonight I am hanging out backstage of a production of The Miser that my friend Chad is in. This is at the Spencer Community Theatre. I actually watched the production last night... Tonight I am stashing myself away in the green room. I have some work to do so that will be fine. Community theatre is such a cool thing. An opportunity for people to be someone else, interact with their neighbors, learn, teach... have fun. Spencer is a place where the community theatre is supported and used effectively. I very much enjoy being around it.

Tomorrow I head home... it is hard to believe how long I have been gone. Soooo much has been packed into these past few weeks. I have learned a ton, and tried things that I have wanted to try for years. It will be nice to head home (if only for a few days). I am looking forward to seeing my brother, and my crew back in the bay (see you all at the Giants game if not Sunday).

I have grown a lot during this trip I think... grown into myself in many ways. The flow of my actions defining my life, rather than me trying to hold tight to perfect ideas of what my life should be. I have projects unfolding in front of me, and I am trying my best to step back to observe as much as I can. The goal is to look for where my talents and skills will be useful... and where I am better off to let someone else move forward. I am developing a strong sense of the importance of learning the difference between going into a situation with a high level of confidence, and at the same time... leaving my ego behind. If I can do that... I can be very effective, and accomplish a lot at a very high level. This is exciting to me.

Coffee?

I am now in Iowa and exploring a new project. This would be switching gears a bit (back into my coffee hat), but following the same lines... helping get a business off the ground that will benifit a community of people, and raise the bar of the independent businesses that surround them. I will write more soon...

P.S. I have upgraded from Beetle's floor... to Chad's couch... ahhh, living the life.

Sleepy

A string of 2am bedtimes, 15+ hour days, and the stress of trying to pull off a bunch of stuff that I have never done before... has left me a bit foggy. I am sitting here in Chicago after a 5am wake up, and a 2 min flight from Birmingham (that was all that I was awake for ;-) Now it is on to Omaha, and a drive up to Spencer, IA. I am looking forward to this next adventure, but it might take a day or two to switch gears... we'll see.

Planning

Ahhh, we have gone from tossing around 80lb bags of concrete to tossing around business jargon and numbers. Tonight we are hammering out the second half of a business plan for Southern Sole. I sure wish I had soaked in a little more of that Intro to Business class back in the day. I was cruzin till we got to all the number stuff... then the eyes sort of glazed over (or maybe that was because I have gone to bed after 2am the past few nights). Had to extend my time here until Wed. (too much to do), and then it is to Iowa. Have I mentioned I am heading to Iowa next? Yup, off to Spencer, IA for a few days before heading home. Will be looking into my next project perhaps. Tom, if you are out there, I will be in touch...

Ok, all... back to business.

Today: 4 miles (holy cow was my body hurtin from pouring those counters)
Week: 4 miles

Counter

Counter,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

We got the counter poured... and a bunch of other stuff done the past two days. It took some doing though. 18 hours on Saturday, and over 10 today (we woke up at noon). For our first time doing anything like this, it is not too bad. There are some things we did well, and some things not so well. Saturday night was pretty funny pouring the thing while all the kiddos were out on the town. We definitely got some strange looks. Time to go back and crash... wake up and do it again.

Big Time

Today is going to be Big Time! We have a bunch of track guys coming in, and hopefully we will be making a big push. The counter should happen today (little nervous), and most all of the messy stuff. It will be nice to get to the end of the day and clean the heck out of the place... NO MORE DUST!!! Alright... back to it.

Stick a Fork in Me...

I'm done. Today's run showed me that I need to get back into a disciplined routine. I don't think that I am in that bad of shape, but I just don't have a good grasp of what is going on in my body. When I was in great shape I was much more in tune with the little ups and downs of myself. When a run didn't go well, I could pin point why. There are plenty of reasons why my runs don't feel great... lack of sleep, on my feet working, stress, humid air, Beetle and Robert going faster than my normal trot of the past months... perhaps it is just the fact that I'm lagging behind, maybe my old running spirit wants to get in gear and doesn't have the gas right now. Who knows. Anyway... today was a big day... we should come in tomorrow to a freshly painted ceiling at Southern Sole. That will be nice. Lots to do in the next few days...

Today: 4 miles
Week: 12 miles

New/Old

New/Old,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

It was a bit of a rough one today... Several late nights, and an extra late one last night, made me pretty worthless today. I am getting to old for late night activities. Well, to old to be of much use the next day. I did get a run in today, and in my new shoes (thank you Southern Sole), but it was ugly. However, the good news is that the knee felt better the first go out in the new kicks. I have been brewing up some thoughts about my time here in the South, but I am way too tired to spit them out tonight... plus I am polishing off a business plan. So, hopefully we get out of the Tank pretty soon and get a nights sleep that is worth writing home about. Some how I doubt it. Things have been cranked into super crazy mode.

Today: 4 muggy miles
Week: 8 miles

Test #1

Test #1,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

I have dove in on my first concrete counter... I am still a little nervous about pulling the whole thing off, but it is fun to jump into something new.

Got a good run in yesterday... my knee is still talking to me like clock work at 20 min. Hopefully new shoes take care of that little deal.

Other than that... just workin, workin, workin.

P.S. I am waiting for some updates BAYA... missed you all this weekend. I hope it was great! And thanks for the pix.

10 Years... Class of 96

Somehow during our late night in the Tank, Beetle and I stumbled upon high school track records from good old HBHS. That led us to talking about the fact that we have our 10 year reunion coming up. I was saying I doubted anything would happen for it... However, we then found a blog devoted to making it happen (I stand corrected). We'll keep an eye on that...

Oh, and Amy... if you make it to this page... Heed Beetles words...

Doing Time

Doing Time,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

Today we got the office/lounge in workable condition. It is now called the "Think Tank". It is plush... or something. Our run got canceled by an all day storm that rolled through. I have a pair of shoes on the way so I wasn't too sad, it will be good to have new shoes on my feet. I seem to only be able to go 20 min before the knee starts yelling at me.

Maybe I should start wearing this monstrosity (maybe not)... Check out this bizarro shoe Masai Barefoot Technology.

1 Hour decathlon

Today was a day of getting acclimated, and of prep work... The high light of the day was going to the track to watch a couple of guys do a "1 Hour decathlon". This was a couple of red-shirt athletes that were testing themselves with a few random people jumping in here and there. Doing a decathlon is tuff, doing it in an hour... That is tuffer!!! It was fun to be out on the track. It was hot as hell and there really wasn't all that much going on. However, it just felt good to be in that atmosphere. It has been a while since I have even set foot on a track. For something that used to be such a major part of my life, it seemed sort of strange to be standing there with no ties to it (other than my history). For one, it was just nice to be out around people pushing themselves to their limits (and I saw some limits pushed... the decathlon ended with the "loss of lunches"). That is something that I always liked about track... it was a place where you saw the benefits of working hard. At some point I will need to find some way to get involved with track again. Even if it is just attending track meets. Being out there today had a familiarity that I miss. I have so many hours logged (with many of you reading this) of just sitting out on the track laughing, sweating, working... having fun. Good times. Times that I am so thankful for.

Off to sleep with the far away rumbles of thunder...

Back in Bama

A strange feeling that I have just been here... and well, I guess I just was, but the two worlds are sooo different it doesn't seem real. Perhaps that is the name of the game for 2006. I have been all over the place. Flying into Birmingham was exciting. It started with some of the most beautiful clouds I have ever seen. It was right at sun set, and the light was amazing. Also the electricity could be felt through the window as the storm below was bursting. As we sank into the puffs of white the contrast of white on blue faded to dark monotone grey. Things also got a bit shaky. Suddenly it was night and the warm light of the sun was replaced with the cold sparks of lightning. I do miss the storms of my Midwestern days, and this all brought a smile to my face (especially once we were safely on the ground). Ahhh, the South... the perfect spring weather of my last visit (a week ago mind you) has faded into the sticky thickness one would expect. Oh well, I suppose it goes with the territory... it somehow fits the place. After a few pints at the Innisfree (the pretty people were on full display) it is time for bed. Back to the grind. Actually, I am quite excited. This is what I want to be doing... and I am doing it. Can't ask for much more.

Travel...

Lets see... early wake up, last minute packing, things I forgot, commute traffic, beautiful early morning sun, BART, guy snoring (loudly), the sense that my life is a gift, girl putting on make-up, bus fare, girl who works at MOMA, security, coffee (finally), old lady hogging my elbow space, Salt Lake City, old man REALLY hogging my elbow space, St. Louis, crappy airport food, iced chai dessert, new verizon pc card, blog, one of the cattle...

Birmingham, here I come.

Stuff.

Been a busy bee... trying to get stuff done before heading back to Alabama on Wednesday. The weather has finally remembered that it is the middle of April and brought back the sun. So it was nice to get out into the yard and do some putzing around. Now I just got to get my butt out the door for a run...

Beautiful Day

Today was a perfect example of how having the "bad", allows you to really appreciate the "good". My arrival back to California was dreary, cold and wet. However, today was nearly perfect... Sunny with billowing puffy clouds in stark contrast to the deep blue. You could almost see the plants stretching out to gulp up the sun after withstanding so many winter down pours. Somehow I doubt I would have recognized the awesome beauty of today without the dramatic turn around from yesterdays weather. This is the case with many things in life. My dad once said something like this to me in college. I was having a rough spell... He said something close to "appreciate the bad as best you can, it is how you know the good, is truly good." I sort of feel like I am nearing the verge of knowing that good... really knowing it. I have good things all around me, but it is my core that is in "rough times". So until that piece of me comes around, I will remain in that dark place. However, that is what I have been working on over the past few months (and continue to work on), and I am beginning to see how my life can embrace (and "truly know") the good. For that I am thankful.


Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Portland Peeps

I wanted to let people up in P-town (or anywhere for that matter) know about a run that is happening up in Forest Park on May 28th. This is a run put on by Pacific Coast Trail Runs. The run that I did at Angel island was with these folks, and it was a lot of fun. I highly recommend if you can, go join in on the fun! I thought that I would come up for it, but I think that I may have a conflict in my schedule now... We'll see.

Time to go sneak a run in while the sun is out... cross your fingers that it stays out!

Done!!!

Done!!!,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

Well, I am back in Vallejo today. I finished my first stint in the world of Southern Sole. My body is a little beat up and I am looking forward to a few recovery days, but I am excited for what we got done the past week. Now it is time to get a few things done around home before I head back for round two.

Chippin Away

Chippin Away,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

No time to write much... It is my last full day here and there is lots to do. We are seeing some progress though. I did get another run in on Saturday... Shawn needs to get his shoes in... mine are officially done!

Power!!!

Power!!!,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

We finally got power today... barely. No storm yet, we'll see if all the predictions were false. Although I think they got nailed north of here. Have a great weekend everyone!

Run Over... (100th post)

Yeah, beginning to feel like I have been run over by a bus... my body hasn't quite adjusted to time change, manuel labor, 14 hour days... ouch! Oh well, it is good for me. I live far to comfortably most of the time. Last night was a surreal experience. We were working a long day (6:30am start time), and as the evening was rolling around the street became increasingly more lively. The store front is right on "the strip", a block of the campus and where everyone heads out to for their evening activities. The sidewalk became a runway for all of the pretty people (and there was no shortage of them). Mind you they mostly all look the same... but in this case that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. However, it did provide a stark contrast to our little crew working in the dirt and dust of the store. The south does know how to strut their stuff, and it was fun to just take it all in (ridiculous as it all appears). The next few nights will be no different (although a big storm is coming in... I am sure that will change the seen a bit). We still have no power, but after jumping through one more hoop (and another $20) hopefully that will happen today. Progress is beginning to be visible, but there is still so much to do. This process is a good next step for my business start-up skills, and I am looking forward to adding a few new tools to my bag of tricks. Hope you are all well in whatever you are up to.

Running

Just a quick note to get my run from yesterday logged. We went out to the school's arboretum... nice to have some trees to run around. Work is being slowed a bit because of the lack of power to the building. Hopefully this problem gets fixed today (having lights and power tools is helpful)). However, that is why it is good to get out and get the run in, even when you are tired and short on time. It reminds you why you do the things you do... it focuses and refreshes, a good run reconnects you to you. Alright, back to work...

Today: 0 (so far)
Week: 4 miles

Sole in the South

Don't Use,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

I will have to continue my thoughts about returning to my Southern roots later... For now, there is work to be done. Shawn has his work cut out for him. His building will be cool, but not before a lot of work goes in. It is exciting to see the potential there, and it is fun to be jammin on something with Shawn. This is exactly the sort of business situation I want to be in. Working with someone who knows what their strengths are, and knows when to use my strengths. I also knew it was a good sign when the book that I brought him to read (Let My People Go Surfing) ... He had already read. That book provides a good language to work with, and ultimately people looking to be a good as Patagonia are the people I want to work with.

Today is mostly absorbing what is going on. Lots of observing and getting a sense of what is appropriate for this project. It is nice to be out of rainy California... in beautiful Alabama!

On My Way

4/4/06 - 5:44pm in St. Louis

Well, this post won't go up until I can get on the internet, but I might as well do something while I am waiting for the plane. I am on my way to Alabama... I haven't been there for 15 years or so. My Dad was born and raised in Alabama, and we have gone back to visit family only a few times. Growing up on the very opposite end of the country, my "Southern" roots were not a major part of my identity. However, there were certain things that would come up every once in a while that stayed with Dad. So, I had an appreciation for gumbo, grits and other strange foods. - Ohhh, it looks like the herd is gathering (I am flying Southwest ), I better run and get my spot so I can stand in line for 20 min. I fly almost exclusively Southwest, so I obviously appreciate their business, but I am always amused (and a bit annoyed) when the first few people line up 40 mins before there will even be a thought of boarding. Once those few get up... the stampeed begins...

Good Start, Same Finish

Dang it! I started this week so well... and now it looks very much like I am continuing my less than stellar running ways. The end of the week got busy REALLY quick. However, next week will prove to be a good running atmosphere, and help get me in gear. Tuesday I fly to Alabama. Beitle is opening a running shoe store, and I am heading out to help where I can. This is a pretty exciting adventure. We will be busy, but I will try my best to fill you in on how it goes.

Rain... Again.

Yup... still raining... can you tell I have become a wimpy Californian? Actually, I don't really mind it. I have plenty to do inside, and there are little breaks in the rain to sneak a run in. Which I just did. My last 5 min or so even got the beginnings of the next storm wave. A gentle rain as I was finishing my way up a good sized hill. Now I can hear the drops outside getting heavier and heavier, its good music to accompany a hot shower. There is nothing quite like getting done with a quality run, that you didn't really want to go on. I am picking my mom up at the airport today and so I have been trying to get a bunch of things done before hand... even after a few blocks I still was not committed to getting the run in. However, now that I am sitting here with it done, It feels great. I guess that is part of why I keep this log, to remind myself of that stuff.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 8 miles

More Storm... Better Umbrella

Today the rain keeps falling (geez it is dark and grey... did I really grow up in the NW?), but I have already had a better day than Monday. Starting the day off with a termite inspector is not the way to go, and some how I spent more time in my bed then out... I realize to some that sounds pretty good, but trust me... it is not all its cracked up to be. Anyway, today I got a few balls rolling already, and it is Dad's Birthday. He would be 56. Exactly twice my age. Some how that sticks with me... would I be doing something different right now if I knew that my life was half over (or even shorter). Today I triumphantly say, "NO!" I am going to get on the ferry with some work and a good book, buy an umbrella, go to MOMA, and have dinner with my brother and good friends... Living in a way that is meaningful to me. That would make my Dad smile.

I recieved a wonderful little note from a friend today that ended this way...

"And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance."
--Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Beat the Storm...

I guess there is a storm a brewin... so I was happy that I got myself out the door this morning. I was also happy to get a solid 5 miles in. Slow. Sluggish. And Ugly. But 5 miles none the less. Not really sure what my deal has been the last few days, but I have just felt beat up. Perhaps all the crap I was trying to get done last week... not sure. Hopefully doing a whole lot of nothing this weekend was the rest I needed. I sort of have to remind myself to have defined chill out time. My days often include plenty of time when things are laid back, but I still feel like I should ALWAYS be doing something. Where as most people have their 5 days they work, and then the few days they don't. It is all a blurry mess for me. Which I like most of time. However, the key is managing both the work load and relax time into a sustainable package. Not always an easy thing.

Hope your Monday is treating you well...

Today: 5 miles
Week: 5 miles

Spring

Spring,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

Got some stuff up to the store today... went for a rainy run. At least it is not too cold. Just wet. The knees felt yesterdays "speed work" (in my Clarks), but nothing major. Happy weekends to all.

Today: 4 miles
Week: 11 miles

Speed Workout

I had to report on my speed workout today... well, this evening. I had dinner in the city, headed up to have a "web site meeting" (which means having a cup of coffee with Carver - my 3rd trip to Ritual Roasters this week... and well, ever). Then it was a mad dash to catch the last ferry. At first I thought I had plenty of time... waiting for BART ... umm, this could be close... ummmmmm, there is no way I am going to make it... ummm, well, um if I run like the wind... I just might do it. BART hits the Embarcadero, and I am off... Up the stairs in leaps and bounds (give that lactic acid a head start), more stairs, the city air hits my lungs, I find my stride, glance at the watch, less than 1 min (depending on the mood of the driver), I can see the bus (the last ferry is actually a bus, don't ask), will myself across traffic, lungs burning, ahhhhh, I made it onto the bus!!! Then in rather anti-climactic fashion the bus driver gets slowly on the bus, punches my ticket (while looking at me as if I am a total moron for my display of "world class speed")... "Wasn't sure I would make it." I said with a half chuckle, "You made it." was his careless response. I thought a high-five would have been more appropriate. Anyway, I am not sure I will make this a part of my training schedule, but it was an exciting addition for today.

Phone

Phone,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

I have been testing this prototype phone for the past few months for a new phone company. At first I thought it was pretty cool... Small, simple, fun (guessing who is calling), I felt like I was on the cutting edge. However, today I have to say goodbye, the trial period has come to an end. Unfortunately the company went bankrupt. It turns out that most people actually use the screen portion of their phones. They also discovered that people didn't necessarily have to buy the phone... they could just throw their phone and possibly get the same result. I guess it was fun while it lasted...

Today: 4 miles
Week: 7 miles

Balance & Discipline

These are two things that I am not the best at lately. Granted there is a LOT going on, but if I am going to keep it going... I must get better. The problem is the more you get buried by your lack of balance and discipline, the harder it seems to get out using those two things. That frustrating cycle has had it's grip on me for quite some time. So, I guess the only thing to do is pick a spot to start... and dig in. We'll see.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles

Spring Preview

Spring Preview,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

This is a little peek into what I have been working on. It will be a small introduction at first... mostly just a representation of the things that have came out of the past 4 months or so (which wasn't a lot volume wise). So, tomorrow will be more like planting seeds than making a big splash...that seems a little more TreeBed anyway. Happy Spring!!!

Big Mouth

Well, that is what I get for opening my big mouth... I make a grand statement about being back in running mode, and then don't run for the next two days. Urgh! I have been cranking away in the studio this week. I am not going to use that as an excuse for not running, but at least I wasn't just sitting on my butt. So I guess it is back to baby steps for the running. I did do more this week than the previous week, and so I will shoot for a bit more next week.

I did get a walk in this morning, but it just isn't quite the same.

Running Road

Well, it wasn't exactly the first thing I did this morning (I had some work that had to be attended to), but I did get the run in. And it was the 5 miles I was looking for... which about half way through I felt like turning it into 3. However, I broke through that little barrier and now feel like I am legitimately back on the running road. A good thing I think. Lots to do today...

Today: 5 miles
Week: 8 miles

I will get up and run... I will get up and run...

Tuesday I got up and ran first thing... it was one of the most productive days I can remember (I am cranking away in the studio to get my Spring Release in the store by... well, Spring - March 20th). So, I am going to try to get up in the morning and repeat that task. That didn't happen this morning, and I never really seemed to get going. I guess that is not totally true. I still got a fair amount done, but it didn't seem to compare to Tuesday. It always works better when I commit myself the night before (especially considering when I commit it here... I am not alone ;-)

Oh, and for some reason I thought today was St. Patricks Day. I got an e-mail from a friend mentioning it... so I just assumed it was today (the 15th). I guess I really should leave the house a bit more!

Nice

Got a nice 3 miles in this morning. Just beat the storm that is coming in (I even got to see some sun). Felt a little sluggish, but I think that was mostly just the morning talking. By the end of the run I felt a bit more fluid. Now for some weights, water... then coffee ;-)

Today: 3 miles
Week: 3 miles
W

Walkin Kinda Day

No run today... Decided on a walk instead. Just seemed to fit my mood. My plan is to get out the door first thing tomorrow (never an easy task for me) for a run. I am going to shoot for about 15-20 miles this week, and get the ball rolling again. Yeah, lots on my mind. The past weekend was a big test for me (mostly in terms of my expectations vs. my follow through), and I am still processing a great deal of it. However, I feel pretty good about it. It was a step, and I like that I can comfortably (for the most part) see it as that... without the need to see it as anything else. A precious moment on my path.

Storyhill

Storyhill,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

I first saw Storyhill play at Graceland University (it was "College" back then mind you) when I was a Freshman... If someone would have told me at that show that I would be opening for them 10 years later... well, it would have taken some convincing!!! As I said tonight, when I started learning to play the guitar my goal was to be able to play some Chris & Johnny (Storyhill) songs (and not suck). Tonight I introduced them onto the stage after playing a few of MY songs. They were very gracious, and seemed genuinely to enjoy my songs (that did make me a little warm and fuzzy inside ;-) And then they got up there and rocked the place. It was a VERY good show. They were on their game tonight and it was pretty awesome to be a part of it. When they ended with a second encore and played Steady On... it was certainly one of the best versions I had heard (in recordings or live), WOW!!!

Concert Craziness

Well, no run the past few days... the end of this week was all about getting ready for a concert that we are putting on at the church. Storyhill is going to play a benefit concert tonight and the money made will go to Outreach International. So it should be a good time, for a good cause. TreeBed Design has been working to create a pleasant atmosphere for the evening (with coffee and goodies, as well as the look and feel of the church)... and I will also be playing a few songs to open the show. A little strange to be opening for two musicians that were a major reason I started playing the guitar in the first place. Anyway, I am excited, and I will let you all know how it goes.

Morning Run

Morning Run,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

I got 3 in this morning without pain... I could feel some tightness in the knee, but no pain. It was a nice chilly morning. However, that sun makes all the difference! My goal last night when I went to bed was to do my run first thing today... a good start to the day. Now it is time for coffee!!!

The picture is a trail down on the water in Vallejo... it would awesome if it was a bit longer, but hey it is better than nothing.

Today: 3 miles (no pain, a little tightness)
Week: 5.5 miles

Urgh!

Well, I got out the door today... that was good... and I felt pretty good for about 2, and then my knee started talkin to me again. So, it looks like I have an actual issue there that needs addressing. Urgh!!! Staying off the pavement, shoes, a bit of ice... that should take care of it, but I would rather just get out the door and start pounding. Oh well. Anyway, I did get two miles in and another two of walking (which is better than nothing). I had some down time towards the end of last week... sort of the let down and recovery of my adventures. This week will be about getting in gear, not off of the adrenaline of my trip, but by setting a solid foundation for me to work from. Happy Monday to all...

Today: 2 miles
Week: 2 miles

Back to Basics

Well, I was feeling a bit sluggish today... all that energy ready to dive into a million different things caught up to me, in the form of "where the heck do I start?" So, I decided the best place to start was back at the basic spark that got the ball rolling in the first place... a run. I would like to say that it was a beautiful experience that sent me roaring back from the blahs, but it wasn't that. Instead it was a rather ugly, tight chested, soar knee, windy, cold (well compared to Belize, sorry Midwesterners) and short run. However, I think it did the trick. A little bit of refocusing, and the ability to put that check mark of something positive on my day. It will take a few runs to get the legs rolling again... that is ok.

So, how is everyone else's running going? Give me a progress report...

Today: 2.5 miles
Week: 2.5 miles

Back from Belize

Dory,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

For those of you keeping score... it is not March 3rd (my original return date), but I am now home in Vallejo. Why? Well, it just made the most sense to me. I was ready to get home and start applying the stuff I had just learned, and wanted to save the 2nd part of my traveling adventure for when I was more in tourist mode. And it all worked out rather well. The day I changed my ticket I ran into Dawn (lives and owns the farm the course was at), and so I ended up spending my last days back in the jungle. Aside from being stung by a scorpian, which left me feeling like my entire body had fallen asleep for most of the day, it was exactly how I wanted to spend my last bit of time in Belize. I am still sort of in disbelief that yesterday morning (4:15 am to be exact) I got up and road a dory down the river, got on a bus, got on another bus (for 7 freakin hours), road a taxi, got on plane, got on another plane, got into a car, and then slept in my own bed that night. Pretty wild. It feels nice to be home, and I am still very charged up to get rollin along... I look forward to sharing stories with you all and finding out some of your own from the past 3 weeks.

I got the 2nd round of photos (the ones that I didn't erase), you can follow this pic and then view them as a group.

New Song

Well, still forming the next move, in the meantime I will share a song that I wrote during the past two weeks... I think that it sums up pretty well where I am at.

Still Me (a working title)
2/14/06
Maya Mountain Research Farm

Ain't it great, to see you again
Its been so long since I met you friend...
You are me, We are one, all the things we have done
Who we are, is the path that we are on.

Chorus:
Here I am...walking down the road.
It hardly seems, I am who I used to know...
But its still me

Gratitude, I breath it in, then I breath it out to you
Thats what it is, open my eyes to this life Im liven in
Thats not much, but its what I got
One step closer... to a healing heart.

Dreams of past, wishful thinking eludes these present tasks
This precious moment, is all that I can want, or ever keep
So I'll take my potential to rise up above this resevior of grief

Use the pain, worked back into the fields
Now cultivate, the compassion that I can see is real
Know myself, open my heart to all that I have felt
And I will say... that I will live more full each day.

It is still rough, but it has been comforting to play... I even got to play it for a talent night we had the last nigth of the course.

I got a decent 3 mile run in yesterday. That was nice. It had been a while. There was really no place to run at the farm (I mean that literally, NO place), so it felt good to get out and get the legs moving again. I have been scrambling to get some more photos taken so I can put a few up. Until then...

My course is over, and it is hard to believe I have been gone for over two weeks... it seems to have gone so fast, but the experience was so rich it is hard to imagine that it could have all fit into such a short time. Today is recovery day. Do a little recoup and make plans for what is next.

Jungle life is pretty amazing... I am not sure I could be a full time resident, but it certainly has a magical quality to it that is all its own. There is so much life, it feels like you can watch the plants growing right in front of you. I was also fortunate to be there with a wonderful group. People from New York, Iowa, and the Bay Area (And more... that is a solid span of the country)... as well as a number of folks from the surrounding areas in Belize. It was so enjoyable to share in the human spirit that connects us all, and that was felt in many strong ways the past two weeks.

It was my plan to post some pictures today... However, it seems that this is meant to be a non-photo kind of trip. First my photo storage plan ended up being a bust, and then today I was fiddling with my camera and managed to erase all my photos... I guess the bright side is that since my storage was limited I really didn't have that many photos that were lost. Still it was a sort of sad to lose what I had. Fortunately everyone else on the course took lots of photos and will be sharing.

Anyway, I will end there for now. I will try to add some stories from the past two weeks sometime soon. Although, if I head out tomorrow for far off lands then who knows about the timing of more updates. I hope you are all well... you are in my thoughts.

Amazing!!!

Well, I haven't had as much access to the web as I thought I might... it has been a bit on the cloudy side, so the solar power was being rationed. However, clouds aside, I am having an amazing time! I am learning soooo much and put many of the pieces together that have been floating in my head for a long time. I have met wonderful people accross the board from Iowa to Belize. Anyway, my time is short so this will be short as well... take care all.

In Belize

Well, I have made it, and survived my first night here ;-) I am on a little island called Caye Caulker. It is VERY laid back and friendly. The weather sort of feels like a Lamoni summer, but surrounded by water... so it is not Lamoni. The itinerary here is a lot of lounging and not much else. This is a very good place to do that! Tomorrow I will be heading south most likely, getting closer to where my class is. I'm going to keep this short, but will try to get some pics uploaded soon.

Running Around

Well, no run yesterday, and none so far today... (although today still might happen) Just running around. Trying to get last minute stuff done for my trip. For the most part I am actually on top of things. Now, it wouldn't be me if I was totally on the ball. However, I am feeling pretty good about where I am at (see me tomorrow afternoon to find out if I was right ;-)

I wanted to run yesterday, but I got some shots in the morning... Lets just say me and shots don't always get along. Yeah, I practically passed out. I thought I was fine. The first one went well, and then I started thinking about it. That was all it took, all my hospital stories flooded in, the smell, the lights... Whew! Today was fine, I just started on my back instead of ending up there.

Off to do a trial packing...

No Fear

Today I ran as a different person. Sounds kind of corny, but I am serious... Today I was a different runner than I was on Saturday. For one, I did the same run 3 min faster than I had been doing it, but more important was why that happened. Because I felt good! Why was that? I believe it was because I was running without something. Today I ran without fear. I realized that part of what accomplishing my goal (the first part of it) was that it freed me to let go of fear (at least during my run). Fear that I wouldn't make it, that I wasn't good enough, etc... I let that go Saturday, and today I ran without the extra weight. It was great. Really for the first time since I started this I felt really connected to it, and it felt natural again. I saw a crack of light ahead to feel that way in my day to day life again as well. That is exciting to me.

Today: 33:10 (5 miles - now that I hit my mileage goal, I will be concentrating more on how long I was out for rather than how far I went)
Week: 5 miles

30

I did it! 30 miles this week, and felt pretty strong doing it (well, my legs are a little pooped... Speaking of poop, a bird pooped on my hand a block into the run. Luckly I had gloves on, and the only damage done was 5 miles of paranoia that I would wipe my face with the back of my glove... happy to say I didn't). Anyway, when I stopped my watch at the end of my run, I must say a big smile took over my face. I mean, even writing this now it is sort of choking me up. And it is not the number, technically about the 3rd week I could have put 30 miles in (that would have been ugly)... No, it is that I did it in a way that laid a foundation for me to now feel like I can keep going. It is the idea that 2 months ago there was very little in my life that I felt I was doing "right", that I was doing in a sustainable way. Now I am on the other end of two months of daily steps, and it feels good. I can now use the same approach to tackle something else in my life that I want to achieve.

I want to thank everyone who has been following along. Your presence on this journey was far more powerful than you will ever know. The biggest thing that I learned the past two months is that this is all about connection. I have received some amazing e-mails from you all, and the comments, and just the sense that when I headed out the door... I wasn't alone. Thank you!

Now the trick will be keeping this rolling...

Today: 5 miles
Week: 30 miles!!!

Cleaning out the Closet

Today, I cleaned my closet. Talk about fun... Sorting through this and that, dividing into "keep" and "time to let go of". I will admit that I am some what of a pack rat, you just never know when something will be useful. I do this both in the physical world, and even more so in my mental world. As I continue on this process of getting my "soul" back in shape, I am quickly approaching a time where I will need to clean out the closet in my heart. I have been working very hard to get my physical world in order before my trip so that when I return I am ready to roll. That has meant going through my "piles", not just moving them from one place to another, but sifting through and dealing. In that work has been reminders of the clutter in my heart. Things that I have held onto for one reason or another... Conversations (words both said to me and from me), relationships, ideas of where or who I should be at this point in my life, anger, fears. This is why when I crash mentally, it can be hard, and doesn't take much to trigger sometimes. I have realized this time around that this comes from the weight of all those piles in my heart. Things that if I were to let go of, I would be free to move on from and not be carrying around through my daily walk. This is easy to say, but hard to do. However, when I think about moving past the tightness in my chest, and breathing fully into my heart again. Being able to love fully (myself included) is something I want in my life. So I made a box... A "things to let go of" box. During my sorting, if I come across a physical reminder of something in my heart that it is time to let go of (a letter, pic, etc.) it goes into that box. Not to be buried again, but at sometime to be let go of. Something that I preached as a coach was that all the little things that you do add up to allowing you to put it together at some point (whether a race, or dreams and life ambitions). Speaking of such things... I got my miles in today and a nice little weights session. Have a great weekend all!

Today: 5 miles
Week: 25 miles
W

Holy Hills!

Today I did some hills... That blew some cobwebs out that I hadn't reached yet! Now that it is done, it was kind of nice (in a sick twisted sorta way). It took me back to all kinds of memories, "hills at the Fort" in my high school days, the golf course in Lamoni. I have actually always been fond of hills as a workout. It is very straight forward (and you KNOW you are doing something). At one point a few years ago I put together a training plan based completely on doing hills... I will have to dig that up. Anyway, it was short and sweet. The hill was about 150m, and pretty darn steep (got steeper as it went up). I thought I would do 8 when I ran by it the first time (I did a two mile warm up- with a good size hill just to get to the repeat hill), but after one round I realized that wasn't going to happen. So, 4 good solid hills to start me off. It felt good to push myself past (way past) comfortable, and seemed relevant to my upcoming travels. I say that because there will be a fair amount of pushing past comfort for myself on my trip. This is my first trip out of the country by myself, and there will be lots of exploring the unknown. I am looking forward to that challenge... And just like during those hills I will be saying, "I can do this, I can do this!"

Today: 4 miles
Week: 20 miles (two 5 mile days and I have my 30 miles week, yippee!)

Well...

I have slipped into a bit of the blahs... so I tried to make sure I got my run in early today. The good news is I got out the door, and I will call it 4 miles... I probably covered 5 miles, but a good bit of that was walking. Which, I am going to take advise given a few post ago, and not worry about it. The walking was actually nice. Sometimes it is easier to think about stuff while walking vs. running. Anyway, I think I am going to go get a weights set in as well, and a protein shake... my weight went back under 142 lbs today. I haven't been eating as well as I should (nor drinking my share of water).

Today: 4 miles
Weeks: 16 miles
W

Belize...

I wanted to let you all know that a week from Friday I will headed to Belize for a month. What?! Yup, I am taking a design course down there that will last two weeks, and then I am going to take a couple of weeks for myself. I am pretty darn excited! This is a course that I wanted to take since moving out here (4 years ago). When I saw that it was offered in Belize during Feb... I decided it was time. The course is in a design concept called Permaculture (contraction of "permanent" + "agriculture or culture"), it combines a lot of things that I am in to, gives a path to follow. Here are a few links with more info...

What is Permaculture?
The Belize Course

I am hoping to still get some posts up from Belize (and hopefully keep running)... should be an adventure!

No run today... it was a walk around town day.

Did it!

8 miles... Maybe just a hair short, but good enough for me today. I started off confident and strong, and after about 30min turned to sloppy and jelly like. However, no one said it had to be pretty. It was a good chance for my mind to meander. There are lots of things in my world to kick around, and a good long run is a helpful (healthy) place to do that. The endorphines are also a nice bonus that I don't get with the 3 milers. As I stated before... running was always a form of self medication. Time to go eat, replace all those calories burned away.

Today: 8 miles
Week: 12 miles

Strike One...

Well, my first attempt to run today was a bust... but I am soon off to try again. I got up, and put my running clothes on first thing (once they are on... you gotta go). Then it was off to Berkeley to enjoy a beautiful 8 miles by the bay. About half way there I realized... NO RUNNING SHOES! I had so much on my mind this morning (hopefully I will be sharing what that "stuff" is in the near future), I left without a very important part of the process. Anyway, I am off to try again. Hope all your Mondays are treating you well... as far as Mondays go.

Run to 30

The culmination of my plan starts today! I was shooting to get up into the 30 miles a week category, and this is the first week that should happen. It would have been hard to find a nicer day for it to begin on...

Today: 4 miles
Week: 4 miles

Tomorrow I am going to try to get an 8 miler in... Yup, about an hour, and my longest run to date (and probably where I will max out at for a while).

Coast Tour

Coast Tour,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

No run today. Seth and I ended up taking an all day tour of the coast. I wish I would have brought my running stuff... it was a beautiful day. Oh well, gear up for my first week of 30 miles next week.

Hope your weekends are treating you well.

TGIF

Yeah, when you work for yourself TGIF doesn't really mean much, but it is a beautiful day so what the heck. I will celebrate other peoples excitement that it is nearly the weekend! As I said, it is a spectacular day, and I enjoyed a brisk morning run. It was chilly, but each time I popped out into the sun, I couldn't ask for much more. I hope that everyone has a great weekend...

Today: 5 miles
Week: 11+ miles
W

Mindfulness

No run today, but I wanted to share the opening words of the chapter that I read today (Unattended Sorrow, by Stephen Levine)... It built so well upon the things that I was thinking yesterday during my run.

MINDFULNESS IS KNOWING WHAT YOU ARE DOING WHILE YOUR ARE DOING IT- experiencing your life not as an afterthought but as a living presence.

Those were powerful words for me this morning, and I thought I would share.

Healthy Rain

Today was one of those days that as it went on I felt less and less like running... Fortunately I didn't listen to that feeling! I didn't make it down to Berkeley, instead I had to run something up to the store (napa). I took my stuff up there, but no... then I got back home, hmmm... "It is going to get dark, Vallejo is not Berkeley or Napa, kind of hungry, etc." Instead, "get dressed and get out the door for a good 3." I am glad that I listened to the second voice. Already after a few easy days my legs felt good, I remember when I could feel little notches of getting in shape. I felt one of those click in today... it felt good. Towards the end of my run it started to rain. It was a healthy, pleasant rain. I thought about the poem I wrote only a few weeks ago about the rain mixing with tears... today I was fed by the rain. I took my hat off, and let my hair dance around a bit. I could feel each drop hitting my scalp, it was wonderful! I realized today the beauty of getting older. Sometimes we look at all the things we lose as we get older, but we gain so much as well. I have felt the past two months that I am starting from scratch, in both my running, and in many ways my life. However, that is not true. I have 28 years of life under my belt (and a pretty good chunk of miles). If I choose, I can use those experiences in so many ways to help get me to where I am still trying to go. Sure we get knocked back on occasion, but we have that much more knowledge to work with next time. I will take that "experience" over the wasted excess energy of my younger self any day (although I wouldn't mind having those rubbery/indestructible joints back).

So today, to the challenges in my life I say... I am ready to step to the line and listen for the gun to go off... I will give it my best, and run the race with the knowledge that I am doing the little things to get me where I want to be (both for today, and for future goals). I also run with the knowledge that I have lots of teammates out there that are doing the same. They want to see me be successful, just as I want to see them achieve their goals. By supporting each other during both ups and downs, we have a pretty good shot of feeling good about things, no matter how the "race" turns out.

Today: 3+ miles
Week: 6+ miles

Rest Week

Well, as you can see by the lack of posts, it is a rest week. I didn't really hit my mileage goals the past 3 weeks, but I do have a lot to do this week so it works out. I feel comfortable jumping up to the 30 miles next week I have scheduled (mostly because I was able to increase my run length to 6-7 miles). Hard to believe I am already at the 30 miles (my unofficial goal)... it seemed so far away when I made that plan.

On my way to Berkeley, think I am going to hit my run down there. Hope everyone is having a great day!

Run Results

As I said, this isn't really a competitive thing, nor was time important (it was 8.5k, and there was a fair amount of walking at the beginning just to get up the stairs ;-) However, the results make a fun link, plus if you poke around on the site they have some pics and stuff. Off to do a quick run.

Here is a little blurb from the race director... "Yesterday was the perfect example of what spending the day running on beautiful trails with lots of fun people can do. As we stood at the start line in the pouring rain, waiting for the time that the last group of runners could start, it looked as if it was going to be a long, soggy day filled with shivering runners hurrying around the course, undistracted by the views, anxious to get back down the stairs and onto the ferry. Instead, the day was overflowing with muddy-yet-satisfied runners commenting on the spectacular views of the cities and bridges, the grazing deer, the various little eco-systems filled with blooming daffodils and Calla lilies and various mushrooms, and the incredible beauty and downright coolness that is Angel Island. Thank you so much for joining us yesterday, even with the threatening weather predictions, and for helping us to remember that it doesn’t take a perfect-weather day to have a blast on Angel Island." - Wendell & Sarah

Run Results

A Good Place to Start

This was a great initial "organized run"! Very non-competitive environment... basically a bunch of people getting together to enjoy a challenging run in a beautiful place. Here are some details of the day:

Waking up early this morning was a strangely familiar ritual. On my drive over to the run I thought about all my Saturday mornings at Graceland, getting up while everyone else on the hall was sleeping off whatever fun they had the night before. Check, and then re-check to make sure you have everything (check a third time for shoes and jersey ;-), then stumble down to the vans to drive off to who knows where. Grab a bagel or whatever was in "the box" we got from the commons. That really was a great time. I thought about all the little routines you build into your race day. Some are practical, and others purely ritual. I saw that this morning, each person having their little tricks. Since I was there alone (eh hem, mr. bessie ;-) it was nice to sit back and take it all in. Reconnect with all those little things that I forgot about race days... pinning a number to my jersey, lines for the bathroom, all the unique clothing choices, cute/fit runner girls, a general sense of community... an honored connection that you were all in this together. Some quiet and reflective, others giggling and joking, but no matter the outcome each runner was there looking for... there is a respect that if you were there, then good for you! It was nice to absorb.

As far as the race goes, it was up... then down. Right off the bat you had to climb a very steep series of stairs (I wasn't sure what I got myself into at that point), and then it was still a good bit of uphill to the halfway point. So, needless to say the first half was pretty slow. However, after going down for a bit, we then got on a good stretch of flat... that was the fun part. There was a guy just far enough ahead of me to make a good challenge to go after him. I forgot how much fun (and how much it hurts) to decide you are going to catch someone, and then go do it. The other highlight was some spectacular views... at one point we came around a corner, and there was the Golden Gate... I had to slow a bit just to take it in properly. I will definitely be doing some more of the Pacific Coast Trail Runs! It is a great chance to meet people, and get out on some awesome courses.

My shins are a little sore from the pounding they took coming down the hill, but for the most part I feel pretty good. Except for the part when I went after that guy, I didn't run much faster than any of my training runs.

Today: 6 miles
Week: 22 miles

Race Day

Race Day,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

It has been awhile since I have pinned a number on... I had a good time. It poured right at the beginning (I am talking WALLS of rain), but after that it was a perfect running day. I will add some more thoughts later tonight.

Early...

I am up and off to the races... So, my plan is to warm up with the first mile... try and go pretty hard for 3, and then cruise in the last mile as a warm down. No problem. Hopefully the rain holds off for bit. I like the rain and all, but it is out on an island and I don't know how much "stuff" we can take (it is always the worst when you can't get warm afterwards).

Golden Gate Running

Skippy and I had a great run in Golden Gate Park today... It is always nice to get on some dirt and run in the trees, especially when running with someone. Then it was moving time. Luckily it was just up a flight of stairs... not to hard. So I got my weights in today too.

Today: 5+
Week: 16+

Running Solo...

It appears I will be going solo at my first race (eh um... I mean "organized run"). Chris comes up with this crazy idea, and now won't be running... because of a JOB of all things. Geeez! (this is his public harassment... now I will have to go to Yosemite and kick his butt... oh, darn). Anyway, I will look at it as a good opportunity to meet some people.

Going for a run with Skippy in the city today... more on that later.

Wednesday Weigh In #4- 146 lbs.

I was a little later in the morning getting my weight taken (post coffee, and light breakfast), but I do feel like I have put on a couple of pounds. Mostly it feels like "firm up" weight... that strength I have been feeling coming back. It is good to see my weight reflect that. I would still like to get up to about 150 lbs. However, with today's weight it appears I am on the right track.

50th Post

Thats about as interesting as it is going to get... Today I at least got 3 in. Thanks for sharing your crummy Mondays guys, it helped to see I wasn't the only one. Hopefully you both come back strong today!

Today: 3 miles
Week: 11 miles

I Tried

Shitty Day...

Today: 1 mile (and some walking...)
Week: 8 miles

The Punt

The past few weeks I have got myself into a cycle where I pack all my miles into the end of the week... just from a mental stand point I would rather do my long run early in the week and be running "down-hill" the rest of the week. However, when looking at my week, it is sometimes the 7 day total between weeks that should be looked at. I wanted to get back into a cycle of running my long run at the beginning of the week, so by running short yesterday that kept my 7 day total from going to far over what I want for a steady increase. Thus, yesterday I punted. Neat huh? Ok, whatever...

After a week or so of northwest grey... I could fully appreciate a beautiful sunset in the 60s along the bay this evening. It is nice to get another 7 in. I definitely get a different feeling from running over 45 min, and today was a bit easier than last week. I can feel a strength returning that I haven't had for sometime. I would like to say that means I am "in shape", but that just isn't how it works. I realized today that it would be silly for me to think that once I was able to run 7 miles that I would be "in shape", and by the same token, I can't expect to be done grieving because I read a book or take a certain length of time to process. It is back to being all about the journey. I ran 7 miles today, it felt really good, the sun was shining, I ate lunch with good friends who love me... I am alive and on many beautiful journeys. For that I am thankful.

Today: 7 miles
Week: 7 miles

Punting...

Forgot my watch, muddy trail (no, we are talking landslide muddy), short trail... Yeah, I am punting this week. I will explain later. That is the beauty of just trying to get in shape vs. trying to win the Olympics, you have some flexibility.

Today: 3 miles (my best guess)
Week Total: 20 miles (4 miles off.. thus the punt)

Beautiful Day

Lots of Water,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

It was nice to see some sun on my return to the Bay. Although as you can see in the pic, there is still plenty of water around from all the rain they had. This is the run I did the first day of this blog... I remember wondering if the spill-way was ever used... questioned answered (the water is usually no where near that path). On that first day I had to walk up the hill (that is behind me in the pic), and that is when I thought about the idea for the blog... today the hill winded me, but the thought of walking didn't even enter my mind. I guess all those little steps add up after awhile. Thanks again for all of your help.

Today: 3 miles
Week: 18 miles

Forest Park

Forest Park,
originally uploaded by TreeBed.

Today was a pretty good day... I shifted my attitude a bit, and that was a good thing. It was also my longest run thus far. When I had my summer of 90 miles a week, I lived in Forest Park. A lot of miles logged on those trails. I enjoyed thinking about that time, and thinking about my dad (as well as others that I have lost in the last few years). I thought about the things that those people taught me, how they helped me to be who I am. I thought about the person they would hope for me to be... I am going to keep trying. That is all I can do.

Today: 7 miles (longest run to date)
Week: 15 miles

Wise Words

I am happy (yes those are strange words for the last few posts) to report that I got a solid 3 mile run in tonight. I don't run at night in Vallejo (come visit and you will see why), so it was nice. It is a route I have done a million times in my running days, and it felt good to soak that in tonight. However, the real highlight of the day was an e-mail that I got when I went to do this post, I am going to put it up because I want to remember it and also because I believe it will be a reference point for this process I am on.

Micah,

Again, I just wanted to say a few personal words, so I am getting back to you through this. I am sure the thing with your dad is hard. I have no real words to say anything to get around it, and I'm sure it is adding up. Luckily, I have never had a loss like that, but I know it cant be easy, and I don't know if I or anyone else would be over it by now.  That is something you may never be able to get over, and that shouldn't be a huge issue.

I know it is wierd to say, but I think it could be a good way to relate to your running.  I'm sure while you were growing up and running your dad could never always be there, but now you have the chance to have him with you every day when you are running or whatever else you may be doing.  I think if you could use this, it could possibly give you a better shot at enjoying
running, I know it may be tough to do, and I dont know if you already feel this way or not.  Just some advice to hopefully allow you to find more time to get the runs in and find them more enjoyable.  If anything else to help keep you going, know that you have helped me a lot through a lot when I was in Lamoni, you were always someone I could count on to talk to and a great coach, and thanks for that.

I am going to leave the writer's name out because it was sent as a personal note to me. However, I thank that person for their comments the past few days... you will probably never know how much they helped. It is another reminder of how important our communities are, and not being afraid to share our journeys. I have always been one to believe I could do it all on my own... I was wrong about that. Each person you let into your life has something to offer you. It may not always be obvious, or even what you are looking for, but it is there if you allow yourself to be open. Sometimes, it is just the right words at the right time (like above). That is when you have to sit back and smile (no matter how crappy you feel), because that is a wonderful gift. Thank you to all of you, if you are keeping up with this you have most likely blessed me in some way... and I thank you!

Today: 3 miles
Week: 8 miles

A Walk...

So far today has been about walking... I am reading a book (may have mentioned it before) called Unattended Sorrow by Stephen Levine, and the chapter that I read today was about taking a walk with yourself. It seemed very fitting after what I wrote yesterday. What it was saying was to take a walk and let in all the information around you, open yourself up to your life and where you are at... sort of like a moving meditation. It is hard. It is hard not to focus on where you are going, or that you should get out of the rain, or that homeless guy asking for change... it is hard not to get lost in those things or the flip side to just ignore them. But the goal being to remain right in the middle. Aware that those things are part of your walk, but so is the sensation of your feet making contact with the ground, and your breathing, and the tightness in your stomach (that is one of mine). (I will have to finish this later... parking meter is out of time... to be continued)

Ok, part two... well, I guess the bottom line is that I am need of practice. I need to see ALL that input as part of my life, good & bad. And as I bring up my awareness of the world around me, I will begin to see the balance once again... instead of just the pain and sorrow that I am often swamped in now. I have these small glimpses that put it all in perspective, and I want sooo badly to hang on to those moments. However, they are just moments, not unlike the "moments" of confusion, fear and hoplessness. Someday those too will wash freely in and out of me...

Going for a night run later...

A Run...

Wrote a poem on my run today... if you are not into poetry... sorry. Sometimes it is just how my thoughts come out.

Sometimes a run is about your left and right
Keeping the rhythm in step with your life.

On other days its the pounding of heart
Controlling something, while the rest falls apart.

Today its about feeling the rain,
As the drops hit my face and mix with my pain.

No matter the why, where or the how
A good run is often a beautiful way out.

As you might gather from the words, life is a bit rough around the edges right now... well, actually the roughness is really deep on the inside. However, I am pluggin away. The fact that I am still getting my runs in is giving me hope. So I will stick with that and hope that I come out the other side.

Today: 5 miles
Week: 5 miles

Saint Ralph

I just got done watching a great movie... and a "running" movie at that. Actually, I can't really think of a better movie to watch on the first day of the year. Especially since I am a bit on the down side of things (been battling the blahs for a bit... say that 5 times fast). The movie was Saint Ralph. It is about a kid who decides to try and win the Boston Marathon in attempt to create a miracle to bring his mom out of a comma. It comes down to being about putting yourself on the line for something you believe in. Taking a jump for something that doesn't seem possible or rational, and leaving nothing behind. I guess someone else found running as a good back drop and metephor for life situations. Anyway, I just wanted to share... it is not a Hollywood blockbuster, just a small Canadian film with a lot of heart. Check it out.